Renesmee & Jacob Alive Within You
by ShatteredLoveStory
Summary: Welcome to the angst filled teenage years of Renesmee Cullen & The complicated but inevitable love story between her and Jacob *Rated M for language & non-graphic sexual content later on*
1. Chapter 1 - Sunny Day

**Brand New Story, explores the depth of Jake's and Nessie's relationship from both points of view and it will not be rushed, more emotion, more suspense, more feeling, more everything! It's also going to be a really interesting story, I really think you guys are gonna enjoy it. Sit back and enjoy…**

**Renesmee**

I breathed in the fresh smell of the grass, the blossoming flowers, the sun shining dimly on my face. Spring. New beginnings. Being half vampire was great, I could smell and hear and taste everything so much more vividly. I lay on the grass looking up into the big beautiful blue sky. Outside in spring was my favourite place. I wasn't far from the cottage, I could still see it. I liked the peace, being on my own, being able to think in private but I couldn't help secretly wish that Jake was here to lay with me and enjoy the day. His warm presence would complete the picture and make everything perfect. He said he'd be here about three today, they had picked up a scent they didn't know not far away from here so he was patrolling. I missed him. A lot. I had tried to keep busy all day yesterday and today, counting down the hours till I saw him again. I looked up at my watch, two thirty. He'd be here soon. I got up off the grass and ran back to the cottage. I ran up to my bedroom and flopped down on the bed. I didn't want to be too dependent on Jake but I needed him so badly, I ached every time he wasn't here. I decided to go to the bathroom to see if I looked okay, I smiled as I saw myself in the mirror. I definitely looked more sixteen today instead of fifteen. My cheek bones were a little more prominent, I was just a little bit taller. I sighed looking down at my body though. Nope I definitely was not fuller, still as flat chested and skinny as ever. Well I guess that was exaggerating, I wasn't completely flat chested but my boobs were nowhere as near as full and as nice as all the rest of the girls I'd often glimpsed and all the girls on the telly and in the magazines. Sure I guess I was prettier than them but I did want the body to go with it. I was so skinny but I had always been because I didn't enjoy human food and would rather have blood. Unfortunately blood doesn't put any weight on your body or give you a nice figure. Lately I had been trying to eat more real food. I privately wondered if Jake liked girls with a fuller figure body or skinny girls like me. I blushed at the thought. I really doubted Jake saw me like that, we were just best friends. Sigh.

Jake had told me that he had imprinted on me when I was about twelve, I was his soul mate but he had explained that he only thought of me as a best friend right then. I had seen the other imprints and their imprintees, Emily and Sam, Jared and Kim, Paul and Jake's sister. They were all together now, like really together. Mine and Jake's relationship was like Quil's and Claire's and she was ten. I scowled that Jake still thought of me as a child, but maybe the imprints worked in different ways. Maybe he didn't love me like that. The thought made me want to cry. I think I loved him like that but I wasn't sure. I didn't know if I was ready although I definitely wanted to be. I checked to see if my outfit looked okay. I was just wearing a black cotton strapless dress, it was quite short, it had been longer a few weeks ago but I thought that it was still okay. I was wearing black diamond flip flops to match aswell, I think they were chanel, Alice never bought normal clothes. I took my hair out of my pony tail and shook it all around my shoulders, messy curls my favourite. My hair had gotten so long now; it was almost to my waist. I hope Jake noticed how long it had gotten; I hadn't worn it down for ages I was waiting for it to be just perfect. My face looked a little flushed from my morning in the sun and my eyes were bright, my eyelashes impossibly long because Alice insisted on doing my makeup every single day even if I wasn't going anywhere. I sat on my bed and waited for Jake fiddling with the bracelet he had given me a while ago. I had heard it was a promise ring. I didn't know what that meant.

**Jacob**

I had just finished patrolling. Sam had picked up a strange scent so we had been following it but the trail ended just at the North edge of La Push and didn't linger. We had concluded it had just probably been a nomad but it was important to check every scent thoroughly anyway. I couldn't have Nessie in any amount of danger not even a hint. Ah Nessie. Her name sent floods of memories through my body, warming my core. How I loved that girl. It had been a whole day since I had seen her; I hadn't been able to see her yesterday because I needed to make sure she was completely safe. I missed her so much it was starting to hurt. I was just getting dressed when I thought of what to wear. I wanted to make a good impression on Nessie didn't I? It had only hit me recently how much she was growing up. She looked closer to sixteen every single day. It was hard to not see her as a child anymore. I was nervous about trying to take the next stage in our relationship, I didn't know if she was ready for that yet or if she even felt that way. We talked about everything but this particular topic had both of us avoiding. I felt for her that way completely, since she had turned fifteen I had wondered what it would be like to hold her in my arms, to kiss her hair, to take her out on dates, proper restaurants, buy her flowers, romantic walks on the beach hand in hand. I ached for it. She was so beautiful, inside and out. She had gotten even more beautiful lately, she had grown up. The way she smiled, laughed. I was positive I had fallen in love with her and I just prayed she felt the same way about me or was starting to. I decided that today would be the day. I would not ask her outright I always wanted her to be able to have a choice. I would maybe make an indication that my thoughts were leading that way, stroke her face, and hold her hand, just a little gesture. If she responded in the same way I'd talk to her about it, if she didn't I would back off for the time being. I was sweating buckets at the thought. I didn't want anything to be rushed, it would all be slow, or whatever Nessie preferred, always Nessie's choice. Always. I quickly finished getting ready and headed out the door. It was a beautiful day, maybe this was a good sign. I got into my car and started the engine up driving down to Nessie's. It didn't take me long to get there, I got out and walked towards the cottage, but before I could open the door Nessie bolted out of the front and ran straight into my arms. I lifted her up and spun her around before setting her down on her feet. She had surprised me so much, I laughed gently.

'Hey beautiful' I said hugging her again gently. She buried her head into my neck.

'I missed you' she stated wrapping her arms around my waist.

I couldn't believe how much I had missed her, her scent engulfed me, her warmth radiated through me, here was where my life was complete. I could die in Nessie's arms right now and everything would be perfect. I loved her so much and judging by it she loved me aswell. I suddenly decided that I was going to take her out somewhere, not anywhere fancy yet but I'd take her to lunch. Somewhere we could speak in private.

'Do you want to go somewhere? Out to lunch or something Nessie?' I asked her pulling her back slightly. She stared into my eyes, her eyelashes were so long and dark and her eyes were shining like stars, she really was an angel.

'Yes, that would be nice' she said 'I'll just go grab some money' she said before leaving to go inside but I pulled her back gently.

'Don't be silly Nessie' I told her 'I'll pay' I assured her.

'Okay' she giggled and we walked back to my car as I opened the passenger seat for her.


	2. AUTHORS NOTE IMPORTANT

**Hi guys I know it's been a long time but I've been very busy and I've also really been deciding where to take this story and which direction it will travel in. I've decided to challenge myself with this story and it's going to be much longer and it's also going to be much more mature which is why it's rated M. There is going to be some lemons later on so I'm excited to work on that but there is also a much deeper meaning throughout the whole story which is centred around Nessie and the content is quite serious and very deep and really grabs your attention. I would like to say what direction Nessie is going to go in but I really don't want to ruin everything. Nessie is going to be on a journey throughout this entire story and throughout you have to kind of guess and pick up at the subtle hints until it's in full blown action. I will give you one clue, she is NOT pregnant, I wanted something much more original and deeper than that. I really hope you enjoy it and of course I want reviews!**

**-Thank you**


	3. Chapter 3 - Screaming

**If you want more you have to review & follow! **

Renesmee

I wasn't sure about letting Jake pay for the whole meal, I mean he didn't have very much money and I had way more than I needed. I would happily give Jake everything I had but he never accepted it, probably just his manly pride, I rolled my eyes. I followed him to the car and he opened the door for me whilst I got in. I smiled. Before he started to drive however he stopped just for a brief second and stared at me, his eyes were liquid brown pools and he had an angelic look on his face.

'What?' I asked, feeling slightly self-conscious.

'Nothing' he replied coolly 'I just can't believe that someone exists that is as beautiful as you'

I blushed, I could feel the heat rising up to my cheeks, 'thank you' I stammered back. He gently leaned forward and twisted one of the ends of my curls around his finger and put it back into place.

'Your hair is longer, it's beautiful' he noted, I couldn't help but grin, I probably look like a right idiot. I was hoping so much that he'd notice how long my hair had grown and I was ecstatic.

He smiled gently and started up the car.

The journey wasn't very long and it was a comfortable silence, me and Jake didn't ever have awkward silences. We arrived at Bella Italia in Port Angeles around half an hour later. I was quite excited for this semi-date with Jake but I was a little unsure at the same time about trying to take this next stage in our relationship. I didn't even know if he wanted to, I mean I know he loved me and he thought I was beautiful but maybe I was misinterpreting him asking me out today and complimenting me. He was probably just being nice, feeling sorry for me because I didn't have any other friends. Sometimes it really bothered me I didn't have any other friends and I couldn't be like all the other girls and have sleepovers because I was vampire hybrid freak.

'Ness? Were here' Jake said waving his hand in front of my face, I still hadn't got out of the car. Must have been daydreaming again. I smiled weakly and walked out.

We walked into the restaurant and sat in a two seater in the far corner. I got devil glares from several other couples in the restaurant and some off adults. Was I that different? I didn't think so, obviously the humans thought different. By the time I sat down and ordered some ravioli pasta thing I wasn't so excited anymore and I actually just wanted to go home.

'Are you okay Nessie?' Jake asked, looking extremely concerned. I nodded once but he raised his eyebrow. 'You aren't, you haven't spoken a word to me' he sounded upset and a little irritated, I didn't blame him, he had taken me out and all I wanted to do is go home. I put my hand to his face to show him that it wasn't him it was everybody else staring at me. He frowned and grabbed hold of my hand as I was pulling it back.

'They're jealous of you Nessie, don't you understand that? Don't you realize that? You're beautiful; they all want to be you.'

I huffed, 'that's a little judgemental isn't it? Not everybody is jealous of me you know.' He was irritating me now and everyone around me kept staring at me.

'Everybody is staring at me' I told Jake. I felt a buzzing in my head, my ears were so sensitive, I could hear everything. People's whispering were like screams, they might as well have been shouting at me. I focused on the group of girls in the far corner who kept turning back to glimpse me.

'Look at that hotty over there, with the freak. She looks like a freaking supernatural, she's too pretty, it's not natural, it's weird.'

'Tell me about it' the blonde one replied 'that gorgeous boy should come sit with us, she looks frigid as well she's not even talking to him properly. I'd leave him breathless.'

My anger was rising, a hiss escaped my teeth, and tears were threatening to brew over my eyes. I couldn't cry here in front of those girls, in front of Jake. The whispers were getting louder, and more people kept staring, I was trying to stay calm, stay focused. I did this trick my mom used to teach me when I was little to stop my tantrums, I closed my eyes and breathed in and out deeply but I think I was losing it. I was scared, for myself, why was I behaving like this? I felt myself shaking, I needed to get out of here, I needed to go home, and I wish I had never come out.

'Nessie?' Jake asked

'I can't be here, I, I can't' and I got up of my seat and ran as fast as I could out of the restaurant.

Jake

Nessie had been acting strangely ever since she arrived at the restaurant. She looked nervous and uneasy, maybe I had acted too soon and she wasn't ready for this. After all she was only young even if she looked miles older. I saw her eyes keep darting towards a group of girls in the corner; I had been trying to ignore them. They were whispering but I could hear every word they were saying, I imagined Nessie could hear even better. They were talking about us, complimenting me and slagging off Nessie. They had called her frigid. I was livid but it wouldn't look good for a huge 7 foot guy to go over to the group of girls and threaten them. How could they notice the beauty in me and not in the angel in front of me? They were right, she was too pretty, prettier than any other girl in this whole world. I studied Nessie's face carefully. She kept closing her eyes and breathing heavily, in and out. She also kept tapping her foot on the floor and I could practically feel the heat radiating off her. I was worried, panicked actually.

'Nessie?' I reached out to her but she stumbled back on her chair, her eyes open, they were scared and panicked, frightened. I was alarmed to say the least.

'I can't be here, I, I can't' she stammered and before I could grab her she was out of her seat and running full speed out of the restaurant.

'Nessie!' I screamed and took off after her. My eyes scanned the car park but she was nowhere in sight, what was wrong with her? What had I done? Of course she wasn't here, she was faster than me, I decided I needed to follow her scent, I'd come back for my car later. I needed to find her, and make sure she was safe and then I'd ask her what the hell was wrong! I had only brought her out, why was she acting like a four year old again? Just because the girls were saying something bad. People always complimented on us when we were out, it had never bothered her before so why now? Maybe I was overreacting; maybe she was having a bad day. But still she should have just asked to leave, not ran out on me, she knew I would be worried sick and would be out of my mind. I took a deep breath and followed in the direction of her scent.


	4. Chapter 4 - Crazy

_And I, I don't wanna do anything but cry_

_Oh and I, I don't wanna do anything but cry_

_Alex Calise – Cry_

Renesmee

The ideal thing, the rational thing, the sensible thing to do was to just go home but I can't. I can't be around my stupidly sympathetic family and I can't deal with people that keep on telling me that everyone looks at me because they're jealous of me. They look at me because I'm a freak. I started running, in any direction I could and just kept on running and running, I never tired and I never got out of breath. I knew Jake would come and follow me but I didn't really care. I eventually stopped at a deserted side of a road and sat down on the concrete, breathing in the air. I ran my fingers through my hair and took some deep breaths. I knew I was being pathetic but I couldn't help it, paranoia screamed from every cell in my body when I was around people, I needed to just be away other people's voices for a while. I wish my hearing wasn't so good, whispers felt like screams. Most of the time I could tune it out but with certain people it was like it was alluring me closer. Wanting me to hear the horrid things they say about me. I looked down at my watch, it was nearly 8 o clock, and time had gone by fast. I'd been gone for almost three hours now, running away. I bet Jake was scared out of his mind. A while back I'd tried to mask my scent so no one could find me, it was hard though. I knew I should get back soon before my father started his voyage through the world searching for me, he probably already had. I doubt he'd find me for some time if I didn't go back, heck I didn't even know where I was. I got up off the sidewalk and started in the direction I came, walking slowly when I noted a man walking towards me. He was big, bulky, he had a shaved head and he looked more menacing with every step he took. I noticed he had two others flanked behind him, he wasn't alone, and they looked just as scary as him. I wasn't scared though, I sniffed hard, and they were human. A human couldn't hurt me. I walked on confidently and as I expected they stopped abruptly right in front of me. I could smell the alcohol from their heavy breaths.

'Well, well look at you aren't you a pretty little thing' the biggest one jeered. I tried to barge past but the friends stood in my way.

'Don't be like that' the friend sneered 'stay and play with us for a while.'

I tried to keep my voice level and even, 'move now' I said coldly. They sneered and the biggest one grabbed me by the arm and attempted to lift me up but with one hard push I sent him flying all the way back into a concrete wall, he smashed his head and I could smell the blood. They should die, all three of them, I should kill them all now. The worst kind of people out there, rapists, murderers, preying on innocent little girls, they shouldn't get to see another day.

The friends stared at me and as I growled and bared my teeth they staggered back. I grabbed the closest one and bit my teeth into his neck as he cried out in pain, as his struggles cut off I tossed him to the side and stared into the eyes of the horror struck wide eyed friend.

'What the hell man..' he started to run, full speed. I laughed and in two seconds I caught up to him and bit into his neck aswell while he screamed, pleaded and begged. When he was silent I threw him by his friends and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

All I could smell was blood, my senses were on overdrive. I stared at the three men at the side of the road, I could hear shallow breaths coming from the two I had bitten and low moans. I looked to the third; the one who I had threw. He was silent and there was no breathing from him. I hesitantly stepped closer; there was no heartbeat, no breath. Silent and cold. The force of my throw and the impact of the concrete wall had killed him. He was dead. I gasped when I realized what I had done and staggered backwards. I fell to my knees and cried for what felt like an eternity.

Jake

Her scent took me to the outskirts of Port Angeles and that's when it stopped, I could sense it was still there but it was masked, clouded like she'd tried to cover her scent with some bad perfume. I knew Edward's senses were stronger so I took off full speed back to my car to go and get him. I hit the engine, I was freaking out, and she was definitely not in Port Angeles anymore. My mind was going into overdrive I _needed _to find her; she was vulnerable by herself especially when she'd been crying. When I finally got to the Cullen's Edward ran out of the house, panic stricken, probably took him less than half a second to read all of my thoughts.

'Jacob! Where is she?' he shouted alarmed

'She got upset, she ran off, she's not in Port Angeles Edward, I can't get a hold on her scent anymore'

He didn't need any more explanation, he got in the car and we set off speeding.

'Where's Bella?' I asked him

'Out, with the rest hunting, I stayed in case Nessie needed me, a good job wasn't it? Drive faster now Jacob!'

The speed I was going was terrifying but I was scared out of my mind, we needed to find Nessie now.

We stopped at where I had lost Nessie's scent and Edward sniffed the air for several seconds.

'She's masked it, but not well, come on!' he urged and I just followed him as he ran, he had to be slower though or else I couldn't keep up with him.

We ran for what felt like hours but Nessie's scent got stronger and stronger. Edward stopped me when we got to a deserted road; 'Shh' he put his hand up to me to be silent.

He listened hard.

'This way' he urged and I followed him slowly and quietly.

When we got further into the road I saw a sight that completely took me by surprise. It was Nessie, crouched down on the side of the road sobbing hysterically with her head in her hands, I immediately started towards her but Edward stopped short in front.

'Look over there' he pointed, I looked further to the side of the road by some trees and a concrete wall. Three men, covered in blood lying unconscious. I looked back to Nessie who was also covered in blood. I gasped aloud. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together.

Edward stepped forward hesitantly to Nessie but I just stood there numb. Nessie had killed these three men, why? She obviously felt remorse however.

'Renesmee' Edward started quietly. She looked up, eyes wild and staggered back still sitting down.

'It's me Renesmee, dad, dad and Jake' he said quietly reaching forward towards her. She looked hesitant but reached forward and he embraced her in a tight hug stroking her hair. He pulled back to look into her eyes.

'Renesmee, what happened?' he said with obvious disbelief as he looked again towards the three men.

'They're dead' she sobbed incoherently 'they, they… I oh no, I killed someone oh' and she sank to the floor again but Edward pulled her up.

He concentrated for a moment and then turned to me.

'I just read her mind, they were going to rape her and possibly murder her' he looked anguished as he hugged her even tighter. If he could cry he would be sobbing right now.

I was seething, how dare they? How dare anyone think to lay a hand on my Nessie? I was livid; I picked up a stump of a tree and threw it across the road. Hot angry tears spilled from my face. They deserved to die, they deserved to be killed, I just wish it wasn't Nessie who had to do it. I would have happily done it, ripped them limb from limb. I had never been so angry in my entire life.

'Jacob, calm down' Edward chastised me but I couldn't. I breathed in and out deeply and stormed over to Nessie pulling her tightly into my chest. Cradling her. Edward went over to the three dead men. I stroked Nessie's hair and pulled her tighter to me.

'Shh, Shh, I'm here now its okay' I soothed her.

Edward bent down in front of the men 'these two aren't dead' he said his voice even.

My eyes darted towards them 'that's good, they get to die all over again' I started towards them but Nessie pulled me back 'no Jake don't' and she looked so fragile, so breakable. My anger started to fade as I pulled Nessie back to my chest tightly.

'Take her home Jacob, I'll deal with this.'

I nodded curtly and guided my angel back to the car.


	5. Chapter 5 - What The Hell

_All my life I've been good but now_

_Whoa I'm thinking what the hell_

_All I want is to mess around_

_And I don't really care if you love me, If you hate me_

_You can't save me baby_

_Avril Lavigne-WHAT THE HELL_

**REVIEW OR NO MORE**

Jacob

After I took Nessie to the car me and Edward had to steal along the deserted road, we had been driving for half an hour and Nessie hadn't spoken a word to me. She just stared out of the dashboard, her face blank and cold.

'I know how you feel Nessie, believe me I do. But they were evil Nessie, you did the world good, you can't imagine the things they were going to do to you' and the hiss escaped my teeth. I had to fight to stay in control. From now on I wouldn't leave Nessie's side for a single second. She would never be alone, I'd sleep in her bedroom, I'd live with her. I would never risk losing my reason for existing again; I would never keep her out of my sight.

'Honestly Nessie you did nothing wrong, you rid the world of evil'

'Please just shut up' she replied, cold and dark still keeping her eyes ahead, she didn't even look at me. I too looked ahead. I have to admit that hurt, it really hurt. Nessie had never told me to shut up so harshly and coldly before. I would be quiet if that's what she wanted but I wouldn't go away, never. When we reached she got out of the car abruptly and slammed the door. It didn't just feel like she slammed the door, it felt like she'd slammed me in my heart. Tears threatened to escape my eyes again but I blinked them away and got out of the car and followed her into the cottage. I had taken her back to the cottage because I knew she wouldn't want to go to the main house where everybody would be. Bella had phoned me to say she met up with Edward and to look after Renesmee until she was back so I followed her but she stormed up to her bedroom and slammed the door. I banged on the door loudly.

'GO AWAY' she screamed at me, her voice laced with hatred but I ignored her.

'Open the door right now Nessie and talk to me' I demanded but she just ignored me. I could force the door down but that'd make her even angrier so I just sat outside the door deep in thought. About an hour later her door creaked open and I jumped up with a start and walked in.

'What the hell...' I started. She was sitting at her dressing table, her beautiful bronze curls had gone and had been replaced with dyed bleach blonde hair and she was in the middle of straightening all of her curls out. Her hair hung dead straight and blonde past her waist. Her eyes were covered in thick black eyeliner and her lips red and full. She turned off the straighteners and stood up facing me and placed her hands on her hips and smiled seductively. She had on black denim shorts, if you could call them shorts more like denim underwear. She showed off her long slender toned legs and had on a pair of ridiculously high heels and a scanty top. I just stared at her in disbelief.

'What the hell Nessie? What do you think you're doing' I demanded. I was furious. What was she doing? What the hell was she playing at? She'd just killed someone and now she was dressed like a… I couldn't call my Nessie that could I? But there was no other word than slut. What was wrong with her?

She just smirked again and turned to face the mirror.

'Hmm, I don't like this top' she turned to face me again as she lifted her top over her head and threw it to the side. She was just standing there in her bra. I genuinely think she had gone crazy.

'Put your clothes on' I said leaning over to the bed and throwing the top to her. She just laughed.

'Why Jake?' She asked, seductively walking towards me, 'does this bother you?' she gestured to her chest and she pushed me up against the wall. She ran her hands over my chest through my shirt and bit her lip. I was thankful when Edward burst into the room with Bella at his side and Nessie moved backwards away from me laughing. It wasn't a nice laugh; it was a horrible evil laugh.

'What on earth' Edward repeated my words from Edward earlier and I heard Bella gasp in horror as she took in their new daughter.

'What have you done to your hair? Where are your clothes?' Bella demanded, she was seething but Edward just stood fixed on Nessie. And then he sighed deeply as he turned to face me.

'She's turned her emotions off again.' And with that everything made perfect sense.

When Nessie was three well thirteen her dog died and she was devastated she couldn't deal with the pain and she went crazy. She turned her emotions off. We discovered that hybrids were able to do that because Nahuel could aswell. Turning her emotions off rendered her incapable to care about anything or anyone. She couldn't cope with the pain so she'd turned them off so she wouldn't have to feel that pain anymore. It had taken a month to get her to turn them back on again but this time would be different. She wasn't thirteen and she hadn't just lost her dog, she was sixteen and she'd just murdered a man and almost killed two others. Nessie with no humanity was a horrible experience and I had a feeling it would be ten times worse this time. I wouldn't lose the girl I loved to this horrible imitation of her. We had to come up with a plan.


	6. Chapter 6 - Lets Have Some Fun

JACOB

'Put your clothes on now Renesmee' Edward snarled at her. She laughed but she did oblige,

'I'm sorry I forgot, Jake's probably a virgin, he's never seen a girl without a top before' and she winked at me as she threw her top over her head. I wanted to hide my head and curl up in embarrassment but I wouldn't give Nessie that satisfaction.

'Be quiet Renesmee, you're to go absolutely nowhere, you're staying in here until we fix you, you got that?' Bella told her harshly, and she looked at me with a sympathetic glance.

'Ooo confinement, pity' Nessie fake pouted swinging her legs onto her bed. She motioned for me to join her; 'come sit with me Jake' she said smiling. I wanted so badly to take her up on that invitation,

I loved her so much, it was killing me to see her like this, she was my everything, my reason for existence, but she wasn't herself, she was the worst version of herself, the part buried beneath the surface. I shook my head and saw for a moment hurt flicker across her face before being replaced by a smirk and a shrug.

'Well if you're all going to hover, and you're not letting me out, do me a favour and get out' she said bitterly to all of us. Bella turned round and ran down the stairs, dry sobbing. Edward looked once sadly at Nessie and then to me.

'Please Jake, I know how difficult it is for you to be around her like this but I don't know, maybe with just you around you can provoke some kind of feeling out of her, plus she can't be by herself, she's dangerous like this. Don't be scared of her, I know her mind games but you are stronger than her, if it gets too much you can leave but I know you don't want to leave her.' And he was right, I didn't want to leave her, especially when she was like this, she thought she was dangerous but really she was even more fragile like this and I was her protector, it was my job to protect the love of my life forever no matter what. I nodded once at Edward and he placed his hand on my shoulder and looked at me with great sympathy, 'we'll fix her' he promised as he walked out closing the door behind him.

I didn't know what to do with myself, Nessie was on the bed playing with her hair and doing seductive poses and then she sat bolt up and adjusted her top so her cleavage was exposed. Nessie was extremely thin and she didn't have much of a chest so I could see how hard she was trying to make herself have a more womanly body. I sighed pitifully at her; I loved her so much, what on earth was she doing?

I moved over to her slowly and sat on the end of her bed. I decided to just be blunt.

'Turn your emotions back on Nessie' I said, my voice nearly breaking.

'No' she replied, bitter and cold as she looked me in the eye and then she smiled brightly, 'let's play a game' she squealed like a child.

'I'm not playing any games with you until you've turned your emotions back on' I replied coldly. I tried to lock my eyes with her again but she refused, and she just looked down at my hands.

'You know what your problem is Jake?' she quizzed, 'you're just so boring, you don't have any fun, you never break the rules, were supernatural, think of all the fun things we could do and never get caught!'

I laughed bitterly 'what, like mass murdering the whole town?' I asked.

She looked at me coldly, 'not necessarily, although we could if that's what you're up for' and then she smiled and I just stared blankly at her not believing she'd just said that. Where had my angel gone? I wanted to cry.

'Jeez chill out' she said waving airily 'I was just joking, see what I mean? You never have any fun, let's just go out and do something fun for a change, I feel as if my life is so restricted sitting here doing the same thing every single day'

'You like staying here' I reminded her

'Yes well, now I don't care so I want to go out and have some fun and I need you to stop trying to fix me, I'm not broken'

'Yes, you are, this isn't you, this is the very darkest worst version of yourself, you're shutting everything out because you don't want to feel the pain, you feel guilty, but you shouldn't, I'll help you just please turn it back on.' She paced round her room quiet for several moments. I longed to know what she was thinking. And then she turned around and jumped suddenly 'OMG JAKE LOOK OVER THERE' she screamed and I gasped and turned around quickly which was the biggest mistake ever. The second I turned around I heard the window open swiftly and she was gone.

RENESMEE

I landed out of the window with a soft thud; I had approximately a quarter of a second to run before they caught me so I took off vampire speed through the woods. It was exhilarating, the wind in my hair, the sun just setting I was as free as a bird and I didn't care about anything or anyone, I'd never felt so good in my life. It was getting late, perfect, just when people were starting to hit the towns. I decided I'd go clubbing, I know I'm only fifteen but I'd get in and if they didn't let me in I'd eat them. I smiled to myself. I knew they would all come looking for me but I didn't care, I don't understand why they just wouldn't let me be this way for a while. Why would I want to go back to caring and all that pain when I had the option to feel so damn good? I decided not to think about feelings otherwise I might do something I would regret and do something stupid like turn them back on. Jake was my weak spot, I couldn't be around him, he triggered emotions inside me, emotions I didn't want to feel ever again, I didn't want to love, I didn't want to hurt, I didn't want to feel anything. I wanted to feel nothing. I wanted to party and forget everything. When I navigated myself through the woods I found the clearing into Port Angeles and I decided to go get an outfit, it was a good job I had slipped a credit card in my shorts when I was getting changed. I slipped into a designer shop and the woman smiled at me sweetly, 'can I help you sweetheart?' she asked kindly but I just ignored her and walked straight to the most expensive section. The woman at the back looked at me suspiciously as I admired this short cute little black and silver sequined dress. It was an Alexander McQueen dress, it was absolutely perfect, it would give me a bit of a figure and it had a padded bra inside of it, I had to have it. I didn't try it on, I'd put it on in the dressing room after I bought it, I knew it would look good. I grabbed a pair of 6 inch black heels aswell, they were the kind older girls wear, they were really sexy, and I would definitely get in with this outfit. The woman came over to me, 'you do know these items are designer? You might need to get a parent, or take out a pay plan with us' she suggested. I turned to look at her, she was really bugging me, one more comment and she would be dead. Literally, I would eat her.

'I have more money than you could dream of in a million years honey, hence the reason you're working here and I'm buying from here' and I smiled sweetly and waltzed off to pay.

'That will be $3,450 please' the cashier said as she raised her eyebrows but I noticed a beautiful emerald necklace in the corner.

'Hold those' I said as I ran over to take a closer look. I had never got to go out shopping on my own before so this was really exciting, Alice always did the shopping but now I was going to. The necklace was beautiful it had an emerald stone in the middle, real of course hung delicately on a silver chain.

'I'll have this to' I demanded the woman and she looked at me cruelly as she came over, looked and walked into the back room. She came back with my necklace in a box and asked me if I wanted insurance.

'If it breaks I'll buy another one, I can't deal with the hassle' I told her.

'The emerald costs $850,000' she told me, 'I can't possibly believe you have that with you.'

I bit my lip. This wasn't my credit card, I had stolen my fathers when I had came in sneakily without Jake seeing. I knew he had tons on this card, my family were multi-millionaires, gratitude of living forever meant you could have nice things. He would kill me if I spent this much on a necklace, not that they didn't have it but I was supposed to earn what I wanted and it was theft. But then I laughed at myself, wasn't the whole point of turning my emotions off was so I didn't care? Yes it was.

'I'll take it' I said firmly to the woman and pulled out the black credit card. It took quite a while to pay, she asked me where I had all this money and I told her I was rich and my daddy gave it to me. she didn't look like she quite believed me. I took my things into the changing room and got changed, and just as I expected the dress looked gorgeous. It gave me a figure and some decent cleavage and the emerald necklace made me look worth a million dollars. Nobody would be able to keep their eyes off me tonight. I looked at my hair and frowned slightly, the blonde was really meant as a shocker to my family but I did miss my bronze curls they looked classier. Oh well I shrugged and tousled my hair before applying some mascara from the shop and lipstick (I got given a lot of things for free after my expensive splash out) and I hit the road, the woman at the front reminding me to come back and telling me I looked beautiful. Bless her, maybe I wouldn't eat her afte rall.

**Nessie's going out clubbing! Who likes this carefree side of Nessie? This is something you don't get in Jake and Nessie stories. **

**To anyone who doesn't like this Nessie don't worry I wouldn't leave her this way and it is a romance story and it's about how Jake brings her back from this dark place she's at and there will be some lemons and steamy moments but for now Nessie is enjoying just having fun and not worrying about anything!**

**Review!**


	7. Chapter 7 - Wasted

RENESMEE

I kept admiring myself in every shop window I walked past, It felt so good to be this free without all the pesky emotions attached to me, I was going to go out and get drunk and flirt with a bunch of guys and I didn't care. Whoever happened to find me whether it be Jake, Edward of Emmet they could take me home I didn't mind much. Men eyed me up and down as I walked down the street and I smiled flirtatiously back. When I reached a club named OCEANIA I walked right up but the security guard stopped and asked me for ID but he was shaking as he looked me up and down. I gently placed my hand on his chest and smiled and his heart was racing. His breathing accelerated, 'right through this way mam' he motioned for me and I smiled back waving a kiss. The guy was like 40, he was so old and gross but it was so funny watching him get worked all up like that, I could work wonders.

When I got inside, it was dark; flashing lights, bright colours and it was loud, ten times as loud to me because I was half vampire. I didn't have to wait long before two guys approached me; one was about 18, the other around 21.

'I'm Heath' the younger one said to me, 'you here by yourself?'

I looked him up and down, he had sandy blonde hair and blue eyes, and he was that all-American football player type. I just smiled and raised my eyebrows at him. His older friend stepped in, 'we can't have a beautiful girl like you alone out here, the men can be dangerous' I laughed mentally at that. I doubt that very much but I let them have their fun.

'Come and dance with us' Heath said to me. I shrugged, why not; I needed to get some fun in my life. I followed them out into the dance floor. It was a fast song, not sure what it was but I just started moving with the music, I could dance (ish) I was just moving my hips. It seemed to be doing the trick. Heath and his friend and well pretty much everyone watched me lustfully; the guys wanted me the girls wanted to be me. I felt fabulous.

'Please tell us your name' Heath shouted over the music coming close to wrap his arm around my waist.

'Vanessa' I shouted back at him as I continued to dance, he couldn't have my real name for obvious reasons.

'Well okay then Vanessa' he said breathing on my neck, 'let me buy you a drink.'

'Okay' I said and he towed me over to the bar with everyone's eyes watching me. I must admit although I felt nothing for this guy it was nice to get guys fawning over me I mean the only guy I'd ever been around was Jake and he didn't fawn all over me like these guys. Sure he was protecting my 'innocence' he wanted to convince me of 'real love' but he was just so boring. If he wasn't so uptight he could have came with me, I would have much rather been grinding against Jake than Heath. Oh no, scrap that, I needed to push my feelings back before they came back on. Nuh uh, I was not dealing with all that crap right now, I needed to feel free so when Heath bought me a sex on the beach I didn't refuse. I downed it all in one go. Soon there were a crowdful of guys buying me drinks and I was definitely drunk. If I was human I would have worried about them taking advantage of me but even on my worse days I could kill them all in a flash. Drunk and carefree I glided back out onto the dance floor with Heath and a few other guys dancing. I could do this until I passed out; I'd never had such a good time before.

JACOB

I was personally going to tie Nessie to the bed with shackles when I found her. This no emotions crap was getting old real quick, I knew Nessie inside and out, she was such an emotional person there was no way she felt nothing, I didn't buy it for a second. The minute she jumped out the window I looked out but as I guessed she had gone, I raced down the stairs but he was one step ahead of me and he stopped me as I was about to barge past the front door.

'What the hell?' I asked him 'didn't you see, she just disappeared she's gone we have to go find her.'

'Sit down Jacob' he said matter of factly

'The hell will I sit down! Nessie's out there and she's not herself, it's too dangerous, we have to go and find her!'

'That's what she wants Jake, that's what she's expecting, if we don't go after her she'll wonder why, it might trigger some emotions.'

'I couldn't give a damn about that right now, we'll get her humanity back without trying this method' I said furiously.

'Jacob calm down now! We will NOT go looking for her. That's exactly what she expects. Always there to rescue her, if she thinks we don't care she'll feel something. Sometimes we have to do things the brutal way, it's the only way or she'll never be fixed.'

I calmed down somewhat and I knew he was right but I still didn't like it. My voice was quiet when I spoke again 'what if something happens to her.'

'She's half vampire Jake, give her some credit besides we'll secretly follow her and watch her from a distance but we won't let her know. We'll wait to see how she reacts when she realises nobody cares and nobody is following her. Remember Jake we have to be brutal. She's gone too far running out like that.'

I nodded, 'come on lets go' and me Edward and Bella took off, we got a call from Emmett saying he wanted to join us after he witnessed Nessie jumping out of the window. Edward agreed.

It wasn't very hard to follow her sent but we took the car to be inconspicuous. She had gone to Port Angeles and had gone into a designer shop. We parked at the side of the road watching her. Gosh she was beautiful even with the horrible blonde hair and cruel eyes as a result of no humanity. She was such a skinny little thing and she waltzed in and out of that shop like she owned it and when she came out she was dressed in a different outfit. I gasped. She had on a black sparkly dress, strapless and so short it barely covered her ass and her heels were ridiculously high and she had on a necklace, it looked real expensive. She tossed her hair back and forth and she walked down the high street. I longed to go after her, wrap her up in my arms, get those awful clothes off, and stop the men from leering at my angel. I nearly lost it in the car. Bella reached behind and put a hand on my shoulder.

'It will be okay Jake, I promise' and if she could cry she would have been.

'Damn, Nessie looks like she's going off to a strip club' Emmett teased trying to lighten the mood.

'I'm not sure strippers dress so expensively' Edward growled. 'She stole my credit card and just spent nearly a million dollars in there.'

'What?' Bella gasped 'on what?' she said

Edward was outraged 'the clothes were designer but mostly that damn necklace, it's an emerald'

Ahhh that would explain it. 'She is going to be in so much trouble, how dare she?' Edward seethed.

'She doesn't care Edward so we have to pretend not to either' Bella spoke softly and he nodded and somewhat calmed down. I was busy wondering how she stole the credit card; it had to have been when she walked in from the car earlier. Was that just today? The day had been awfully long and I just wanted it to hurry up and end. So much had happened in one day I didn't know if I could cope anymore.

Edward told us she was heading to a night club and I had to sit there and painfully watch from a distance as Nessie stroked the security guard's chest just to get in. None of us knew what to say, not even Emmett we all just sat there in silence.

It could have been hours later but the sky was now an inky blank when Edward's head shot up.

'She just went with a guy out back' Get out the car; we need to keep an eye on her.' Nobody had to ask twice, we got out and walked into the club without any queries and tried to find the back entrance. The place smelled like booze, sweat and sex. It was disgusting, the worst type of club.

'Over here' Edward motioned for us to follow him when he found the back entrance. With her hair a knotted mess and her dress stuck in her underwear, red silk I noticed, I quickly shook that thought from my head and looked at her. She was clearly drunk and heavily drunk at that slurring all her words. She had the guy in a vice like grasp and it broke my heart when I saw her kissing his neck. Reading my thoughts Edward replied to me 'she's not kissing him Jake' he said and he just stood there numb. I then understood why everyone was so quiet and still and then I smelt it. The smell of human blood. Nessie was not kissing this guy, no definitely not, she was standing there out in the open feeding off him and he looked close to death.

**Mean Nessie is breaking Jake's heart, what is he going to do next, what's the next plan?...**


	8. Chapter 8 - Mess

**I know it's been a while guys but I kinda had writers block and I also had a ton of exams to study for but I just want you to know I'm not giving up on this story, I am still writing it, so here's the next chapter hope you enjoy!  
**

**I own nothing I am not SM! Blah blah **

**Also I'm tired and cannot be bothered to check for typos/grammar correction so you'll have to put up with any mistakes…**

JAKE

'Go and get her Jacob I just I can't bear it I can't' Edward choked on his last words as he walked back to the car with Bella following him. I had never seen Edward get like that before, his heart was breaking seeing his daughter like that but it didn't compare to how I felt, I felt agonised.

'I'll leave you to get her Jake' Emmett said sympathetically and for once I saw the emotion in Emmett's eyes as he walked back to the car distressed at what he was witnessing.

They obviously weren't strong enough, but I had to be, I had to be strong for her because there was no point to life without her, I had to help my angel through this and get her back, she meant everything to me.

'Nessie' I said quietly approaching her, even in her drunk state she noticed me. She pulled back from the blonde kid and threw him to the ground wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. I could hear him faintly breathing passed out, thank god she hadn't killed him, but surely he would remember though? I doubted it, he was too drunk but I sent Edward a silent message to send Carlisle for him to give him some type of drug to help him forget or something.

Nessie looked at me in the dark and started towards me before swaying and nearly falling over but I caught her just in time, she too looked like she was about to pass out.

'Jake, is that you?' she muttered, heavily. God she was wasted.

'Yes it is and you're coming home right now' I said firmly.

She laughed drunkenly, her eyes closed and heavy lidded 'I knew you'd come and get me' and then she fell again, she couldn't walk; I had to pick her up and carry her back to the car. As soon as she was in my arms her head hit my chest and she fell asleep instantly. It was in that moment that I realised how incredibly fragile she was, how could I have thought of not going to save her and going along with Edward's plan? She was so young and delicate in my arms. A tear dropped down my eyes as I kissed her forehead. I vowed to never leave her no matter what and it was going to be my mission to get her back.

In the car I draped her over my lap and wiped her matted knotty hair from her eyes. We were silent on the way back but when we were nearly there Edward spoke up.

'Tomorrow we have to try a new plan, this one obviously failed; she knew we came to get her. Jacob I want you to put her to bed and then come up to the main house; it's time for a family meeting.'

I nodded and when he stopped the car at the cottage I carried her out while they carried on up to the main house. When I got inside and carried her up the stairs she started to stir. I quickly went into her bedroom and set her down on her bed and took her shoes off and pulled the dress down. I was not getting her undressed; I couldn't could deal with that right now. It felt wrong somehow.

Me and Nessie were not romantically intimate; I didn't know what our status was right now. I guess I was just her protector again and right now, I hated to say it but she was a mess. She didn't look peaceful sleeping. I knew all the pain was still there, buried underneath the façade but she didn't want to acknowledge it. I would make her feel again, if it was the last thing I ever did and I would help her through everything, always and forever. I kissed her hair and turned to leave but I stopped short. I didn't want to leave her alone, I was afraid she'd wake up and run away again. I debated with myself and decided to take her with me. She had Edward's old room at the Cullen's, she could sleep there, I wasn't risking it again, I promised I'd never let her out of my sight. I walked back over to pick her up gently and I heard her groan.

'Sorry Ness, not risking it' I whispered and she frowned. She was in a weird, half sleepy drunken state, there was no way I was leaving her here.

Once I arrived into the main house everyone was seated around the table where the only people that ever ate there were myself and Nessie. All eyes darted towards me.

'Jake, why have you brought Nessie?' Edward quizzed and all eyes landed on Nessie.

'She's in this weird half sleep state, I'm not risking it, she can sleep in her room here' I said and took her upstairs. When I got downstairs they were all waiting patiently for me.

'Hello Jacob, please join us' Carlisle said politely and calmly and motioned for me to sit down next to him and Bella. I nodded once and sat down whilst Rosalie scowled at me.

'What the hell are you scowling at?' I said to her angrily, I was already out of my mind about Nessie and I didn't need this bitch to start anything. I hated Rose, I honestly did and I tried to be nice most of the time because of Nessie but I refused to anymore, I wouldn't stand for it.

'I'm scowling at you dog; it's your fault Nessie's in this mess anyway, why did you take her out? Everything's your fault' she snarled.

I laughed crudely once 'ha that's a joke' I retorted 'where were all of you today? I'll tell you where, off shopping doing what you do best, waiting for Emmett to come home for him to fu…'

'Enough' Edward shouted, his voice low and harsh. I stared into her eyes, oh how I'd love to sink my teeth into her neck and hear the metallic screech. I removed my eyes from the leech so I wouldn't have to look at her any longer.

'This is about Renesmee and we need to stay united' Carlisle continued professionally. He was right, this was about Nessie but I wouldn't be united with the ice cold Barbie if there was nobody left on this earth.

'We need another plan; we need to trigger some emotions' he carried on. _Well duh _I thought to myself sarcastically and Edward raised an eyebrow at me.

RENESMEE

I must admit I was pretty wasted, my head was heavy and clouded but I was a vampire and I definitely wasn't a light weight. I could hear every word they were whispering about me downstairs at their 'family meeting.' How to trigger my emotions, how to make me feel again. Didn't they understand? Didn't they get it? I knew exactly how to do it, I didn't need provoking, I didn't want to. Why would I want to go back to feeling crappy all the time? Always wondering whether Jake liked me or not, all the guilt, the anguish, the pain. It was better gone. Yes of course, I wasn't stupid, I knew it was still there and there was a part of me that desperately wanted to feel again but my mind was stronger than my heart. Just. I knew what would happen if I started to feel again and I just couldn't face it. I had killed someone. I know he was a bad man but still, he was dead and the blood was on my hands. Was I any better?

It had only been a day; couldn't they just leave me some peace for a while?

_But you're not at peace Renesmee; you're in your darkest place ever _my sane voice shouted at me.

Ugh go away. I was torn. Half of me wanted to break down and sob into my pillow for a thousand years, the other half wanted to go out and drain the blood out of a thousand humans. I was hyperventilating, I was losing it. Today had been the longest day ever and I just wanted it to end. All in one day I had killed someone, turned off my feelings, gone out and got drunk and managed to piss off my whole family.

I refused to let my emotions get the better of me and as hard as it was I breathed in and out deeply and took control of myself again and somehow managed to fall back asleep, un-peaceful.


	9. Chapter 9 - What did he do?

**I write these late at night because my days are so busy so I cant be bothered checking for grammar or typos if there is any..**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, yeah yeah**

**ENJOY….**

JACOB

It had been about 10 days now since Nessie had turned off her humanity. She'd snuck out several times; she'd got drunk again, she'd attempted to strip naked in front of me before I had to pin her down and restrain her but now she'd given up.

She wasn't allowed to leave; she had been confined to the main house. The only good thing about vampires was that they never slept which meant Nessie couldn't try and sneak out at nights. We had tried everything; we'd all spoken to her, talked about old memories, showed her pictures. Me more than anyone. She just wasn't having any of it, she rolled her eyes, laughed but now her response was the worst. She just sat on her bed like a zombie. Not bothering to get dressed, refusal to eat or drink anything. Her skin was chalky. She wouldn't speak to anybody or even look at anybody. I was in despair and agony watching my angel suffer like this. I just felt completely helpless. Why wouldn't she just turn them on?

'Because she's stubborn, she's angry, and most of all she doesn't want to have to face the fact that she killed someone.' Edward replied to my thoughts sitting on the couch, his nose in a fat book on teenage behaviour. I don't know what he was looking for, none of those things in there would apply to Nessie, she was half vampire. Unless it gave you explicit directions on how to get a human/vampire hybrid to turn their emotions back on it was useless. Edward laughed once with no humour in it.

'I know, you're right' he replied putting the book down, 'I'm going to get some fresh air. It's two o'clock, time for Nessie's next visit and it's your turn.' He walked out slowly leaving me alone. The rest of the family had gone hunting but they'd be back in time for their sessions with Nessie.

We all had timed sessions with Nessie to try and coax her, it wasn't working but we had no other options, it was all we had.

I sighed and ascended the stairs to Nessie. I opened the door and as usual she was sitting on her bed, eyes wide open playing with her promise ring bracelet. That was a good sign; usually she didn't do anything at all. The blonde had begun to fade out of her hair and it was a weird light coppery colour and she hadn't straightened it so it was long and curly. She was beginning look a little more like Nessie again, not quite yet but more so. She didn't even look up when I walked in; I closed the door and sat on the end of her bed.

'Hey Ness' I greeted her. She didn't even acknowledge my presence but I pushed ahead. 'You remember when I gave that to you huh?' she still didn't answer.

'Do you plan on staying like that forever? Cooped up in your room, not feeling anything? Come on Nessie, I know you inside and out. You're beautiful, don't ruin yourself like this, please angel.'

'Can I ask you a question?' she said, looking me square in the eyes. Her eyes were cold but she had spoken to me, I couldn't believe it. For days Nessie hadn't uttered a word to me. I was overjoyed, even if her voice was hard and unfriendly, it was still her voice. My gravity holding me to the earth. I just wanted to hug and hold her. But she'd never allow it.

'Of course' I told her.

Her eyes narrowed and she tilted her head to the side.

'I wonder' she spoke, slowly as she lifted her head back up to look me in the eye 'if you would still like me if I wasn't so beautiful.'

What a weird question, more like a statement. I think I had explained the imprint to Nessie at least a thousand times, I mean did she not get it? I loved her, not her hair or her face, they were just added bonuses. I loved her, her beautiful soul. She was my soul mate, my everything; I'd die for her right now if I had to. I looked at her baffled.

'You only love me because of the imprint' she continued dangerously.

'What? The imprint drawed me to you because we were destined for eachother. The imprint just showed me who I really was, the girl who was truly made for me. It just opened my eyes to you, you're being silly Nessie. I love you for you, not for the damn imprint.' I was getting angry, how could she possibly believe that?

'You can leave now' she said once.

'Turn your emotions back on now Nessie' I said angrily.

'Get out' she barked, and that's exactly what I did. I thundered down the stairs angrily. Being nice just wasn't working anymore, there was going to be a little bit of tough love. If Nessie wasn't responding to the nice way, she'd sure as hell respond to the cruel way.

RENESMEE

He left angrily, slamming my door on the way out. I knew I was hurting him but I didn't care. I had been like a frozen statue all week because I had being imprisoned in my own house and I was starting to feel angry. Anger was an emotion and once I could feel anger I knew other emotions would follow such as guilt, despair, sadness. But I couldn't help it, I was feeling angry and I couldn't hold it in any longer. I felt like if I kept all of these emotions in any longer I would explode. I needed to get out of this room before that could happen I'm sure that was their plan and it was going to happen if I didn't escape. I suddenly decided to just take a shot, what was the worse than could happen? I put on a pair of converse, brushed my hair and bolted out of the house, down the stairs and out of the front door. I could feel them behind me shouting but I kept on running, right into the woods but my dad was right on my trail and he was faster than me. I tried to make diversions but he read my mind. I could hear Jake and Emmett and everyone else not much further behind. I ran and ran but I tripped on a twig and that's when Edward grabbed me and I fought him with everything I had in me. Everybody slowed down and faced me. My dad had my arms behind my back, not hard but hard enough so I couldn't move an inch even though I was thrashing around.

'Let go of me' I screamed

'Renesmee stop it! What's wrong with you?' My mom shouted. Jake looked at me, his eyes were filled with pain; I think that he was crying.

'Turn your emotions back on now Renesmee' my dad said harshly.

'No' I screamed 'get off me' but he ignored me.

And then suddenly out of nowhere, Emmett grabbed Jacob, and held him in a headlock, hard and tightly. He wasn't in his wolf form so Emmett was ten times as strong as him and he couldn't move an inch. What was he doing? My thrashing stopped.

'If you don't turn your emotions on right now Nessie, I will make sure you have something to feel about. If you don't turn them on right now Renesmee I swear to god I will kill him whilst you watch' Emmett snarled.

Jacob was struggling to get free, keeping his eyes locked with mine.

'No Emmett what are you doing?' My mom screamed but Alice and Rose held her back.

I looked at all of their faces. Emmett was definitely bluffing. He wouldn't kill Jacob just to get me to feel. I laughed once.

'You're a liar, you won't hurt him' I said looking him straight in the eye.

'One' he started and I just waited, he just wanted to scare me, he wouldn't hurt him.

'Two' he continued but I still stared at him, wondering how he was going to get out of this one.

'Three' he said and that's when I heard the most sickening crunch. I gasped out loud. Jacob's eyes rolled back as he looked at me and then he fell to the ground. My world stopped spinning.

**OMG. IS JAKE REALLY DEAD? HAS NESSIE FINALLY TURNED HER EMOTIONS BACK ON? REVIEW TO FIND OUT…**

**(****This chapter was inspired by my favourite ever tv show the vampire diaries which I will be starting new projects on soon)**


	10. Chapter 10 - She's Come Undone

RENESMEE

I watched as Jake's lifeless body fell to the floor. I stood still and listened hard. I couldn't hear him breathing. I slowly took a step forward towards him; my dad had released his hold on me.

I couldn't believe it, I wouldn't believe it. Emmett wouldn't do that, he couldn't be dead he just couldn't. Jacob could not be dead. It all started to come back at once, I was hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't concentrate. I pushed my hands up to my head and raked my fingers through my hair. I was having a panic attack, I couldn't breathe properly! I started to move around in circles, panting, breathing heavily. It felt like the sky had closed and the air had been stolen from me. There was no way he was dead, Jacob Black could not be dead. I wouldn't survive. I would kill myself. It was in this moment that I truly realised there was no point to life without him, he was my whole world and he could not be dead. My mother approached me holding her hands out.

'GO AWAY' I screeched. Now I had found my voice I started to scream in rage.

'WHAT DID YOU DO? HE CAN'T BE DEAD!' I started towards Emmett, punching him everywhere I could but my dad grabbed me again.

'LET GO I HATE YOU SO MUCH YOU KILLED JACOB' I thrashed and screamed and then the realisation sunk in. Jacob was dead.

I sank to the floor and lay crumpled onto the floor and that's when the tears came. That's when the emotions came, the hurt, the guilt and pain. The tears came in floods and I was sobbing uncontrollably.

'Jacob, please, you can't be dead' I shuffled towards him. I stroked his face, his hair, his hands, he was still warm.

What had I done? Why didn't I turn my emotions back on? I was crying so hard I thought I was going to pass out. Everybody around me was silent but I wasn't looking at them.

'WAKE UP' I screamed at him 'YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP' I continued. 'Please, I'm sorry, don't leave me.'

Rose started to come over to me attempting to pick me up but I pushed her hands off me.

'YOU SHOULD BE SO HAPPY YOU HATED HIM ANWAY, GO AWAY FROM ME, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN' she backed away hurt and I buried my head in Jake's neck.

'Please wake up, Jake, I'm sorry' I whispered in his ear 'you can't be dead, you can't leave me.'

And then I felt an arm tighten around me, a warm, strong arm. I must be dreaming, imagining things. But the arm that tightened around me was warm; it couldn't be any of my family.

My tears subsided and I lifted my face up, my hair was all stuck to my face from my tears.

'I'll never leave you Ness, never' he whispered into my hair. My eyes widened and I sat up. Jake's eyes were open and he was staring at me with such love and devotion.

I gasped.

'You're not dead?' I questioned as he started to sit up. My tears turned into happy ones as he pulled me in for a hug. He held me tightly.

'It would take more than a punch in the back from Emmett to get rid of me for good Ness' he said as he kissed my hair and I heard Emmett scoff.

I couldn't believe it, he wasn't dead, he was alive, he was here.

'B...But you weren't breathing' I stammered.

'Little trick there, some drugs from Carlisle. But man my back kills, yes he did really punch me, I'm gonna go have to go get healed up.' He stated as he stood up, pulling me up with him. He arched his back and winced in pain.

'Sorry man, but it had to be convincing' Emmett said.

So it was all a joke?

'It wasn't a joke Nessie, we had to be brutal' Edward answered my thoughts 'you had to really believe Jacob was dead and you did.'

I cried again and tried to wipe the tears from my face. Jake pulled me back to him and hugged me closely to his chest.

'It's okay sweetheart, I'm okay' he soothed me.

'Come on guys, why don't we go out somewhere? Leave Jake and Nessie alone for a while.' My dad spoke up and they all nodded in agreement.

'I'll be back soon Nessie, don't worry everything will be okay darling' my mom said pulling me into a hug. I just nodded.

'Rose, I'm sorry' I said through my tears.

'Don't worry about it Nessie, okay?' she said hugging me tightly and then they started to run back to get their cars as I turned back to Jacob.

JACOB

Man my back was killing me; I needed to get to Carlisle pronto. I held Nessie closely to me, never wanting to let her go. She was in pain, she was hurting, but she was back. Her emotions were back on. Her tears that had soaked my clothes were proof of that. I would help her through this, she was everything to me.

'Shh, Nessie darling it's okay, I'm okay, and everything will be okay.' I said rubbing her back soothingly.

'But it's not okay Jake, nothings okay, I was so horrible to everyone, I got drunk, I tried to take my clothes off in front of you, I'm so embarrassed' she cried.  
'You weren't yourself Ness but were going to forget about all of that now and move forward okay?'

'I can't, I killed someone, Jake. I actually killed someone.'

I grew angry at the mention of that man she had killed. He had deserved way worse, he had deserved days of torture until he was literally begging for death.

'Maybe it would help if I told you that same man you killed had also killed murdered and raped 16 other girls. Carlisle looked it up for me. He was a serial killer and a rapist Ness and so were the others. He's dead and they're in prison. They deserved everything; you rid the world of evil. You know Edward used to kill murderers aswell?'

She looked up at me and her tears had stopped somewhat.

'They really killed all those people?' she asked quietly and I nodded. Her chocolate brown eyes were shining with tears; she was full of emotion right now. She was so beautiful. She was the definition of perfection. I just wanted to kiss her, to take all of her pain away. From her reaction today I could tell she truly did love me for whatever unfathomable reason. She was in agony when she thought I had died.

'Do you forgive me?' she asked.

'Of course I forgive you Nessie. Always.' I assured her as I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She smiled faintly.

'It's so good to see you smile' I said smiling along with her. And then I very hesitantly brushed my finger across her cheek bone and wiped away the teardrop that was there. She closed her eyes and breathed in and out.

I continued to brush across her cheek.

'I'll never leave you Nessie' I vowed to her. Her skin felt like velvet, it was warm and satiny. So soft. She was so beautiful.

I wanted to kiss her and show her how much I loved her. How I loved her more than anything in this world, more than my own life. But I couldn't. Nessie was so special, so precious. I didn't want her first kiss to be in the middle of the muddy woods, whilst she was still so upset.

'Come on, I really need to get to Carlisle sweetheart' I said. I hated to ruin the moment, but she was shivering and she needed taking care of. She nodded and I held her hand and lead us back to the house. It would only be Carlisle there so it was okay.


	11. Chapter 11 - Best Friend or big brother?

Carlisle had fixed Jake up nice and brand new and now we were back at the cottage by ourselves. No nosy all-hearing vampires. I had washed out all of the rest of the dye and brushed my hair. It was exactly how it used to be again. I had changed into light pink pajama shorts and a vestop and I was lying on my bed watching a movie with Jacob next to me. Things appeared normal, but I was still hollow. Emotions sucked but I was glad they were back on because there was one good thing about feeling and that was the love I felt for Jake. It was the only thing keeping me together, my undying love I felt for the boy right beside me. I loved him completely, more than anything. He had taken drugs and being hurt terribly just to help me and I was positive he would have died for me if necessary. Believing that Jacob was really dead had made me realise how much I loved him. I didn't just love him, I was in love with him and I wanted him to know but I was so scared. He needed to know. Jeez where was the Nessie that tried to strip naked in front of Jake when you needed her? Maybe I should stop being such a coward and tell him. Maybe I'd start a conversation up first, perhaps leading to it. Maybe he'd say he loved me first.

'Thank you, for doing what you did to help me today Jake' I said and my voice sounded small. Ugh.

He turned towards me looking me in the eyes.

'I'd do anything to help you Nessie.' He said smiling at me, with so much love. _Ugh just say__ it already you wimp._

'I hope you're okay' _really Nessie, really?_

'I'm fine as long as you are' he said lovingly and placed his hand in mine. He was so warm; he was like my personal sun. I needed to say something; he deserved to know how much I loved him.

'I love you Jake' I blurted out. _Oh gosh that was smooth. You sound like an idiot._ I looked down, blushing beetroot red. Oh god. That was even worse. I mean it's not like I've never told Jake I loved him before but this time was different and we both knew it. Jake was silent for a few seconds and then he tilt my face up locking eyes with me.

'I love you Nessie. More than anything' he replied, his voice velvety. I knew how much he loved me but hearing him say it was europhic. This was it; maybe he would finally kiss me. My heart was beating heavily and I could hear Jake's aswell. He let go of my face and pulled me in towards him and wrapped his arm around me.

'It's been a long day, you look exhausted, let's go to sleep' he said rubbing my arm. I sighed. I was exhausted but not tired enough for him to kiss me.

He switched the light off and we both lay down, his arm still wrapped around me.

We'd just confessed our love for eachother and he wasn't gonna kiss me? I mean c'mon! Was he still playing the big brother role? Or was it the best friend role? I decided to ask.

It was dark so I didn't have to look at him so I was more confident.

He was stroking my hair gently, 'I love it when you stroke my hair' I told him. It was comforting to me when he played with it. He chuckled lightly 'I love doing it' he replied.

'Jake can I ask you something?' I said leaning in closer to him. He smelt amazing.

'Anything'

'You're my best friend right? You're like my big brother, my protector'

'Erm, yeah' he said, his voice was unsure. I took this as an opportunity to push it forward.

'Best friends and big brothers. They don't do what we're doing now do they?'

He didn't answer and his stroking of my hair slowed down somewhat. I didn't continue, I wanted him to answer this question.

His heart was beating heavily in his chest.

'No, they don't' he answered finally, his voice was husky and low.

We were both close together still, his arm still wrapped around me stroking my hair but our heartbeats were so loud. I could feel the tension. None of us knew what to say, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sure my breathing had got heavier. I couldn't take the silence anymore.

'It's something lovers do' I blurted out and I felt him freeze. I didn't care though, we needed to get past this stage, it had dragged on long enough but I was still nervous all the same. Suddenly he shifted so that he was propped up on one elbow facing me.

'What is it you want Nessie?' he asked gently looking at me 'I will be whatever you want me to be, whatever you need me to be.'

At this point, I was ready. I didn't want him to be my big brother anymore. I still needed him to be my best friend but I needed him to be my boyfriend, my lover aswell. I needed him to be my everything.

I leaned in closer to him.

'I don't want you to love me like Quil loves Claire. I need you to love me like Sam loves Emily' I whispered.

JACOB

'I don't want you to love me like Quil loves Claire. I need you to love me like Sam loves Emily' she whispered, her voice soft and velvety. I breathed in deep; she was so close to me. I could feel her breath on my neck.

'You're not as old as Emily' I stated, wrapping my finger around the end of one of her curls 'you're only sixteen.'

I couldn't possibly love her like Sam loved Emily right now. I mean for years I'd had direct insight into Sam's mind about what he and Emily got up to at night. I wanted to wait until Nessie was fully grown to make love to her. When she was eighteen, she was barely sixteen.

'Okay maybe not Sam and Emily. We'll invent our own one, okay? Nessie and Jake' she said tracing her fingertips lightly across my neck. Her touch drove me crazy; the feel of her skin on mine was the most amazing feeling ever. It was like little shots of electric currents, ones which were pleasurable.

'Nessie and Jake, sounds perfect to me' I agreed.

'And what is it that Nessie and Jake can do?' she asked lightly.

I leaned back and switched the light on so I could see her beautiful face. Her hair was tumbling down covering parts of her face in a really sexy way. I'd never thought of Nessie being sexy before but she really did look it tonight. Her hair slightly messy, she was in the tiniest shorts and vestop and her eyes were sparkling and she was smiling. I stroked her face adoringly. It made me so happy to see smile, nothing in this world could make me happier than to see Nessie smile.

'Nessie and Jake can do this' and I traced my fingers from her eyes to her neck and down to her arms. She was so soft, so beautiful. I was hesitant as what to do next but we both wanted this, she wanted us to do this. She needed me to be more than her friend and I needed it do.

'Nessie and Jake can do this' I leaned in slowly and placed a kiss on her cheek slowly, making sure my breath lingered there.

'And Nessie and Jake can do this' and that's when I closed my eyes and moved over to her mouth, slowly pressing my lips against hers. She tasted like sunshine, strawberries and roses. Everything that was beautiful. Her scent was intoxicating. She smelt like heaven, like every flower, everything that was perfect. She felt like satin and velvet. Her lips moved in sync with mine and I pulled her closer to me. There was no feeling that compared to how this felt; it felt like I was in a dream, a fantasy, surely real life couldn't be this amazing. She placed her hand on my face and suddenly my head was filled with all of her thoughts. It was like a burst of light, showing me how amazing this felt, how much she loved it, how much she was in love with me. It was like a flame had being ignited in my heart; I was completely in awe of her. She was the most magical, beautiful thing to ever grace this earth and she was all mine as I was hers. Her fingers knotted in my hair as mine did to hers. I wanted her as close as possible. I pulled her into my lap and she deepened the kiss. Her lips parted and I felt her tongue brush across mine as I granted her entrance. Oh god this felt so good. How was it possible to love someone so much? I was so happy I could now love her like this. But I was starting to feel things I'd never felt before. My body was growing tighter, she was sitting on me and I could feel myself growing hard at her touch and this kiss. Soon we were both gasping for air and we had to break away but I only continued trailing kisses across her neck. I was holding her waist and her vestop was riding up, I could feel her lower back, her soft skin. I could feel myself getting harder and I needed to get her off me before she felt it so I gently lifted her off of me but still held her close.

'I love you Nessie. So, so much.' I whispered into her neck and we both collapsed back onto the pillows. I truly was exhausted and Nessie must be even more tired.

'I love you Jake, more than anything' she said leaning into me once again.

I reached over and turned the light back off.

'That was amazing' she giggled lightly, stroking my face. I turned so I could face her.

'The best moment of my entire life so far, and all of my best moments have been and always will be with you.' I stated.

She leaned into kiss me once more lightly before she leaned into my neck and within minutes she was fast asleep. I lay awake for a while just to hear her breathing thinking that there was nothing that could be more perfect.

A few moments later I saw my phone flashing on the bedside table so I reached over to grab it. It was a message from Edward.

'Come down now, we need to talk.'


	12. Chapter 12 - Fatherly Talks

**Okay so whenever I click on this story I see that loads of people are reading it and all my other stories like literally thousands so why is there not thousands of reviews? I don't get a ton of reviews there will be no next chapter so REVIEW. **

**Thanks.**

**Writing these at night so too tired for typos/errors i'll check another time maybe… **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing {but I wish I did}**

JACOB

Ugh, trust Edward to ruin the most perfect moment of my life. I slowly got up, as not to wake Nessie and tiptoed out of the room. When I got downstairs Edward was sitting on the couch, stern face, eyes knitted tightly together, taking deep breaths. He looked up when he saw me and motioned for me to sit down so I sat opposite.

'I'm not going to beat around the bush Jacob. We need to talk about Renesmee' he said, looking me straight in the eye.

'Can we do this another time? Look man I'm really tired' I said to him. I was in no mood to have a daddy talk with Edward about Nessie right now.

'No, we need to do this now.'

I sighed and leaned back into the couch whilst he leaned forward, I waited for him to start.

'I've been back for a while now, so let's skip the part where you pretend you didn't kiss her because I know you did' he looked at me, waiting.

'Yes, I kissed her, It's not like she didn't want me to' jeez what was his problem, it wasn't like we had sex or anything!

'I'm very well aware of that Jacob; please keep your thoughts to yourself, there are certain images I would not like to have in my head thank you'

I just waited for him to continue.

'What I'm trying to say is Jacob, she is so young and I just don't want her involved in that kind of relationship right now, you have all the time in the world I mean she's barely sixteen. Just leave things as they are for now.'

I smirked, 'yeah try telling that to Nessie, she's more grown up than you give her credit for.'

'Still, what I say remains, I am her father and until she's eighteen I just don't want you to continue to pursue a romantic relationship with her. End of. Case Closed.'

I was furious with him. How dare he come in with his commands and ruin everything.

'She's too young Jake, you know she is' he said a little softer than before.

'Most girls Nessie's age have boyfriends Edward' I said to him firmly.

'But she's not most other girls Jacob, she is Renesmee and she's precious. She's technically six years old and you know how emotional she gets with everything. Nessie doesn't do anything half speed and that includes falling in love. Her emotions will consume her Jacob; she's just not ready for a mature adult relationship right now even though she thinks she is. I love you like my son Jake and trust me when I say you are the only person in this world I would ever trust with my daughter so please just hold off a while until she's old enough.'

When he put it like that I just couldn't disagree with him. Everything he said was absolutely right. Nessie just wasn't ready, she'd be furious but she needed time to grow up and develop and I would be right by her side forever and always. I wasn't going anywhere and Edward was right. We had all the time in the world.

I nodded once at Edward and stood up and he patted my shoulder once before I headed back upstairs to my angel.

'Thank you Jacob for understanding. Get some sleep, if you need anything I'll be at the main house' he said as he turned to leave but he stopped short.

'Oh and Jacob, I do honestly mean it when I say you're the only person I will ever trust with my daughter.'

'Thanks'

And with that he was gone.

When I got back upstairs Nessie was still sleeping soundly so I got in beside her quietly and fell to sleep and dreamt of sunshine and Nessie and roses and Nessie and Nessie's kiss, Nessie's touch. My dream was a Nessie filled heaven. Too soon my beautiful dream was shattered by Nessie's fidgeting. I opened my eyes sleepily to find her tossing and turning in her sleep, she was extremely restless.

'Ness, honey are you okay?' I asked sitting up a little to give her some room. She groaned and rolled over so that she was inches away from me.

'Shh' she said her eyes still closed, her head pressed against my chest.

'I can't sleep Ness, you keep fidgeting' I told her, stroking her hair. She smiled at my touch and leaned up to kiss me but that's when I suddenly remembered my talk with Edward.

'Ness, sweetheart we can't' I said quietly, hoping she'd just fall back asleep but she didn't. Her eyes shot open and she looked up at me.

'What do you mean we can't' she asked innocently. It broke my heart that I couldn't kiss her again for a while; I was considering just forgetting everything Edward told me but he was right. Nessie was way too precious.

I pulled her up so we were both sitting up. It was nearly dawn because the light was coming in through the windows so I could see her pretty face.

'I spoke to Edward earlier tonight Ness and he doesn't think we should continue our relationship like this until you're older. He knew we kissed.'

She frowned at me, 'Jacob my dad doesn't just get to tell me what to do all the time. You love me, I love you. I'm sixteen, I honestly don't see the problem.'

'You're too young Ness, I realised that I acted wrong, we should wait just until you're a little older we have all the time in the world, I'm not going anywhere.' I said as I leaned forward to stroke her face but she jerked back from me.

'You think it was wrong? Are you saying that our kiss was a mistake?' she said, on the verge of tears.

'No Nessie, of course I'm not saying it was a mistake, it was fantastic and it was beautiful and I will always remember it. Our very first beautiful kiss, the first of many more to come, just in the future.'

Her eyes tightened and she abruptly got up off the bed.

'Nessie, what are you doing? Where are you going? 'I pleaded. Damn, I knew this was going to happen.

'I'm going to the main house Jacob.'

'Look Ness' I started but she turned and faced me.

'I've got it Jake, we can't be together right now. All is clear.' And with that she turned on her heels and stalked out of the room.

She was so adorable when she was angry but I would make it up to her somehow.

**Nessie's not given up, a little later on were gonna see Nessie put on her best flirty behaviour to make Jake see her as grown up and she's really gonna tempt him. Will he resist?...**

**REVIEW.**


	13. Chapter 13 - Brother Bonding

RENESMEE

If Jacob didn't want me to be his girlfriend, I'd do exactly as he asked. I was furious as I stormed over to the main house still in my pyjamas and of course Jake was right behind, following me.

'Ness, honey, don't be mad please stop for a minute' he pleaded. I turned around angrily and stopped.

'What do you want Jacob? You kiss me then you say we can't be together. I can't deal with the mixed messages, stop listening to my dad, maybe it's about time you chose what you wanted to do instead, unless of course you don't want to do this.'

His eyes were pained 'Nessie how could you even think that? Of course I want you. Only you forever and ever and always.'

I couldn't be bothered to listen to his stories, he needed to be more of a man and make his own decisions.

'See you later Jake' I snapped and turned back but obviously he was going to follow me to the main house. Ugh he was so annoying sometimes.

When I got to the house I was greeted by Emmett who picked me up and spun me around in a bear hug.

'Hey Ness, it's good to have you back' he laughed. I smiled, my family always put me in a better mood.

'Nessie, my beauty!' Rosalie shouted striding towards me to embrace me in a hug and I hugged her back. I saw Jacob nestle into a chair and put his feet up, grabbing the TV remote.

'Hi guys, but I'm sort of looking for my dad, where is he?' I said, but before they could answer my dad came gliding through the back entrance. I frowned at him and was just about to start my torrent of rage when he silenced me and lead me out towards the back with him and I followed reluctantly. When we were outside he turned to face me, his eyes soft.

'I know what you're going to say Renesmee and I know how angry you are but trust me, this is in your best interest.'

'How is it in my best interest? I'm sick and tired of you and mom always making decisions for me. I'm perfectly fine.'

'You see Nessie, you have all the time in the world to be mature and an adult, I just don't think you're ready' he said miserably.

'Let me tell you something dad' I said walking forwards towards him. 'It's not me who isn't ready, it's you. You just don't want to let your baby daughter go but I am not a baby anymore dad and it's about time you stopped treating me like one. You and mom always taught me to be independent, to do what's best for me and being with Jake is what's best for me. I am nearly seventeen years old and I'm sure about what I want. You need to trust me to let me make my own decisions and let me grow up.'

His face was conflicted, I could tell he knew I was right; he just wasn't sure what to do. I walked closer to him and wrapped my arms around him.

'Daddy you need to trust me, I'm not a baby but I'll always still be your little girl' I whispered and he hugged me back and kissed the top of my head.

'I'm sorry Renesmee, you're right, you are absolutely right. I need to trust you. But please, just do one thing for me' he said and he pulled back to look into my eyes.

'I know the times have changed but I really would like if you, just wait until you're married, you know, to um' he stuttered and I pulled back from him.

'Please don't try and have a sex talk with me dad!' I gasped, covering my eyes with my hands and he laughed.

'Okay, okay, just try and do that for me, I think you should go talk with your mom' he said still laughing.

'Yeah, yeah I got it' I said loudly with my hands covering my ears as I walked back in.

'Forget talking to your mom, you can do that later, you're coming to talk with us' Alice appeared suddenly out of thin air grabbing me by one arm whilst Rose grabbed me by the other and led me outside towards Rose's car.

'Were going shopping!' Alice chimed.

JACOB

I'd just heard Nessie's conversation outside with Edward. It was amazing how much she had him wrapped around her little finger because he'd just granted us permission to be together. Of course though, Blondie and pixie dragged her away to go shopping and to talk about things I'd probably be better off not knowing.

I didn't know how long Nessie was going to be so I got up off the couch and bid my goodbyes and decided to go spend some time with the pack. I hadn't done that for so long. In the last few years a lot had changed, since Emily had given birth to her twins, Sam had decided to stop phasing and settle down with her. He wanted to live as long as she did; he wanted to grow old with her so I had become alpha of the whole pack. Since I had been dealing with Nessie, I gave my role to Seth for a while. My beta.

When I got down to the reservation I was jumped on and tackled to the ground by Paul, Embry, Quil, Jared and my favourite, Seth.

When they finally let me up I was laughing. It was good to be around some guys for a change. Of course I mean I loved Nessie with everything I had in me but it felt nice to be around some human guys, my age, my family.

'Where have you been?' Seth asked, patting me on the shoulder.

'Yeah man we thought the Cullen's had turned you or something' Paul chimed in. I laughed, 'well things have been pretty busy lately' I replied 'what with Nessie's no emotion thing. It's been a difficult time.'

'Yeah we heard about that man, how is she?' Jared asked.

'She's okay now. She's gone shopping, so I decided to come show my face.'

'Well we were just heading up to the beach, Colin and Brady are there and I think Leah is aswell' Quil said 'come on.' And we all headed off for first beach.

It was a bright day, the sea was blue and the air was warm. Leah was indeed there lying down reading a book and warned us not to interrupt her and Colin and Brady were throwing a ball around. Quil went to join them and we all sat down.

'So Jacob' Paul started fiddling with the sand 'how are things with you and Nessie?'

I looked up at him, his tone was different.

'Things are fine' I answered and he shot a look at me smirking.

'Oh come on, she's older now…' he continued eyeing me levelly.

'What Paul is trying to say' Jared piped in 'is have you jumped her bones yet?'

Paul laughed and so did the rest. Oh, now I got it. Same old Paul, same old pack. I laughed.

'No, I have not' I answered him.

'Why not?' Paul said 'you know you want to'

'Yeah man, she's yours forever' Embry added

'If she's mine forever I don't need to rush into things do I?' I answered and he just smirked again.

'Yeah, yeah always the moral one Jacob' he said.

'If you don't, I will' Embry laughed and I shot a look at him. 'What?' he asked innocently 'you're all about soul searching you are Jacob but don't tell me you can't see that Nessie's hot. She's slim; she has one of the most stunning faces I've ever seen. She's fucking sexy! ' And the others started to laugh.

I glared at Embry. He hadn't imprinted so I knew for certain how he thought of Nessie. My Nessie.

'In all seriousness though Jake, if you don't fuck her soon, she'll think you don't like her' Paul said. I cringed at his crude choice of words.

'Yes Jake, you need to. Make her forget her own name. Do her so hard that…'

I cut him off. At first it was a joke, now I was getting angry. They were talking about Nessie like an object for pleasure and I wasn't having any of it.

'Don't talk about her that way' I said harshly and they all fell quiet 'shut up about her, and Embry keep your thoughts about her to yourself okay?' I said and they went completely silent.

A few moments later Paul spoke up 'hey I'm gonna go play ball, anyone want to come?' and they all got up and followed him except from Seth.

We sat side by side watching the sea. I was annoyed, frustrated and angry. I just wanted to go home to Nessie. Technically I still did live at Billy's although I was never there except to change, shower and pick up fresh clothes. I went wherever Nessie went, slept wherever Nessie slept. I always had.

'Look man, I know you're annoyed. I think they had a bit to drink earlier, they didn't mean anything by it.' Seth said calmly.

'I know I'm just so protective over her. I used to hate it when they talked about girls like that but just now when they were referring to Nessie, it just pushed me over the edge.'

'I know, but I do think Embry's kind of right.'

I looked at him abruptly and he hastily continued, 'I don't mean about you know that stuff, but maybe you should see her in a different light. I'm no expert on girls but I do know that most teenage girls are insecure. Maybe you should comment on her actual appearance, you know her body, or something. Make her know you're attracted to her physically not just mentally.'

I nodded at him; I guess he did have a point. I made a mental note to take more notice of her body and her clothes and such.

'So have you kissed her?' he asked in a whisper. I laughed quietly.

'Yes'

'How was it?' he pressed

'It was amazing Seth, honestly it was the most amazing moment of my life'

'I'm happy for you Jake. Nessie is beautiful and you deserve her as she deserves you.'

'Thanks mate' I said playfully punching his arm.

And this was why Seth was my best friend.

**Aww I was feeling cute, love a bit of brotherly bonding :}}**


	14. Chapter 14 - Agent Provocateur anyone?

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…**

According to Alice, Port Angeles didn't really have much of a wide choice when it came to shopping for new clothes and her and Rose both insisted I needed a new style. She was heading to Virginia but with the speed she was driving it was only be a few hours. We were almost there when Rose turned to me excitedly.

'I'm so excited to dress you up like a little doll'

'Why the sudden need for me to change?' I enquired.

'Because you're older now and also you have a boyfriend' Alice piped in.

'Jake likes me just fine the way I am' I insisted.

'Of course he does, you're beautiful, prettier than all of us put together but your style is well, still a little childish. You need new clothes, maybe even a new hairstyle' Rose said, her eyes sparkling.

I raised my eyebrows; there was no way any scissors were going near my perfect hair.

Since the day I was born I was constantly told I was the most beautiful, because of the mix of vampire and human it created something unnaturally beautiful. I knew I was beautiful but I tried not to let it get to me. I didn't want it to be the reason that Jake liked me so I was a little annoyed they were dressing me up even more.

'So' Alice spoke from the front 'now it's time to get to the juicy stuff, you know away from your mom and dad.'

'Oh no' I groaned, I hated this kind of talk.

'Have you kissed?' Rose asked.

'Ugh' this was not happening.

'Come on Nessie, we are your two favourite, eternally young aunts! You have talk about this kind of stuff with us, you can't exactly talk about stuff like this with your mom, she'd be horrified' she continued.

I laughed a little at that 'yes I have' I answered

'Ooo' Alice hooted 'was it a cute, little kiss or was it a kiss _kiss_?'

'What do you mean?' I asked, honestly they were so weird.

'You know like tongues?' Rose pressed.

I was sure I blushed fifty shades of red and they both noticed and giggled.

'That means yes!' Alice squealed

'Oh my gosh, I can't believe how grown up you've got Nessie' Rose said

'I hope that's all you've done!' Alice chimed

'You don't have to listen to Edward though Nessie, you're old enough to make your own decisions now.'

'What are you on about?' I asked, sometimes they talked in riddles and I had no idea what they were going on about.

'Sometimes you're so innocent Nessie. Were on about you and Jake, you know…'

'SHE'S ON ABOUT YOU GETTING LAID' Alice yelled and they both burst out laughing.

I reckon it was their mission today to make me as embarrassed as humanly possible. This was so not a conversation I wanted to have but I did have some nerves and these two were the best people to talk to and get advice from.

'I'm nervous about that part' I admitted.

'Of course you are Nessie' Rose said a little more serious now 'but just remember, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You need to move at your own pace, you're only young but ultimately the decision is up to you, and if you ever need anything or any advice remember were always here.'

'I know that it's just that I'm not used to any of this you know? I mean, obviously I love Jake but it also feels weird at the same time, like he's always been my best friend, babysat me. It's weird.'

'Well, it's definitely not your typical relationship but it's what will work for you Nessie. I know it. Even if it takes some time, your made for eachother' Alice said sweetly.

'Anyway enough of the heavy talk for now! Were here' Rose said excitedly, practically pulling my arm out of my socket as she grabbed me out of the car just as Alice had parked.

They took me in and out of all kinds of designer shops. Juicy couture, Chanel, Marc Jacobs, Acne, just endless amounts of shops and they spent literally thousands on me. All unnecessary of course but I must admit I was liking these short slinky dresses and the tight demin jeans and short tops. They were much more grown up, oh and the six inch heels I could walk in perfectly because of my vampire balance. These would be much more useful standing next to my ever so tall boyfriend.

Is that what he was to me? I guess it was. The word just seemed, I dunno, not quite fitting but I suppose terms such as eternal soul mated imprint weren't really appropriate.

They made me change into a strapless black tank top, that came just above my belly button and had little crystals on the back and was really tight fitting showing of my slender body and a pair of black tight skinny Levi jeans and a black bow pair of Christian Loubotins to walk round in. I actually really did like it. Like a lot. Maybe Jake would think I was sexy now instead of just pretty. I blushed thinking those things. Ugh.

We then went to the salon and they made me get my nails done and hair. They insisted that this wasn't because I had a boyfriend but because I needed some TLC after my rough no emotionless period. I didn't believe them for a second, they wanted Jake to go crazy for me, even more than he already was. They did make me have my hair done but it was only trimmed. It was still just above my waist but with no split ends now and they had straightened it all out for me and then made it into loose waves. I have to admit it was really pretty and I looked so much more grown up and stylish. Before we went home Alice announced we had one more shop we needed to go in.

'Which one Nessie, Victoria's secret or Agent provocateur? Pick one' Alice stated, hands on her hips.

Oh no, she was so not doing this to me. I couldn't believe she was. She was taking me lingerie shopping! Jeez, this woman would not rest.

'Nessie, you need lacy thin tiny little things and pretty lacy underwear now. You're older and…'

I cut her off before she could finish. There was no point arguing with Alice.

'Fine, erm, I don't know anyone' I said

'Yay' she squealed come on 'Agent provocateur first!'

Her and Rose dragged me in and I was embarrassed just to even go in there. There were all sorts of things in there that was sure I would never need in a million years. Alice started picking up things randomly and I saw a lot of thongs.

'Alice!' I hissed, 'I can't wear those' I said eyeing the revealing lacy thongs and the almost see through bras and pyjamas.

'Oh give it a rest Nessie, you'll be begging me for these soon' and she winked as she went off to buy them.

Rose laughed and I blushed again as I rolled my eyes at her.

So typically Alice.


	15. Chapter 15 - awkward

**We're talking about a world where vampires, hybrids and werewolves live. Anything is possible - lillyZ**

After a while I saw the pack making their way over to where me and Seth sat.

'Look Jake' Paul started standing over me 'what we were saying earlier, about Ness, were really sorry about it, we didn't mean anything by it'

'Yeah and you know I was only fooling around Jake. Ness is beautiful but I'd never be disrespectful to her, you know that right?'

Paul gave me a hand up and I gave him a quick hug.

'It's okay guys, I was maybe being a teeny bit over reactive but Nessie is precious' I admitted.

Just then I got a text, I pulled my phone out of my pocket. It was Nessie.

'_I'll be home soon, love you_' it read, I texted her back and turned back to the pack.

'Nessie will be back soon, gotta hit the road guys'

'Nessie has you whipped' Embry joked, punching me playfully in the arm.

'True' I stated then turned to Seth 'you coming?' I asked him. Seth got on really well with Nessie, they were great friends, I knew she'd be pleased to see him and Seth and Edward got on great aswell, I knew everyone had missed him.

'Sure' he said excitedly and we bid our goodbyes and headed for my car.

We arrived just as Alice was pulling up into the driveway. Me and Seth got out just as Nessie was getting out. When I saw her slowly getting of the car I literally think my heart stopped and flew out of my chest. She was in a little tight vest top and black skinny jeans showing off every angle of her perfect slender figure and she had high heels on making her look tall and well sexy. Nessie looked incredibly sexy. I even saw Seth's eyes pop out of his head. Her hair had been done and was flowing down in gentle waves. Nessie looked amazingly hot and I just wanted to kiss her and touch her. I thanked the heavens that this amazing creature was mine. She looked up a second later and smiled 'Jake! Seth' she said whilst running towards me. I opened my arms and she hugged me tightly. She smelled amazing, her scent was indescribable. Too soon she moved from me and hugged Seth.

'I haven't seen you for ages Seth' she exclaimed stepping back.

'I know! I missed you, wow you look good Ness' he said spinning her around and she laughed.

'Thanks! You too'

I saw Seth raise an eyebrow and look at me just as Nessie had turned for a second to say something to Alice.

He nudged me and I cleared my throat just as Nessie had turned back around.

'You look amazing Ness'

She smiled gently and Seth winked at me and headed inside.

'You don't just look amazing Ness' I continued and I stepped closer to her gently stroking her bare arm and then I leaned forward and whispered into her ear 'you look incredibly hot right now' and I let my breath linger there.

She grabbed my shirt and pulled me closer 'you don't look too bad yourself' she whispered.

'I missed you' I stated, holding my arms around her delicate waist.

'We can get reacquainted tonight' she said gently and seductively and then she winked and walked back into the house.

She was mesmerizing. I just gazed after her, she was so amazing.

When we were inside Esme announced she'd made dinner for us (for me, Nessie and Seth.) She was so sweet and such an amazing cook. After that we talked and watched TV and generally just had a good time.

Around 10 Seth announced it was time he got back, he had patrol to do but he said he'd come back real soon.

'Bye Seth' Nessie said hugging him, 'make sure you come back soon!' I've missed you around here'

'I will Ness, I've missed you too' he said and then he said goodnight to all of us and went.

I smiled; it made me happy that the most important person in my life and my best friend got on so well.

'I'm tired' Nessie announced 'were gonna go back to the cottage and watch a movie or something' she said in her wind chime voice. Edward raised an eyebrow but did not comment.

'Hold on Renesmee, I'd like a chance to speak with you, come take a walk?' Bella said sweetly gliding over. She smiled at me and then at Nessie 'It won't take long' she said quietly.

Nessie looked at me and hesitated.

'Go Ness, I'll wait' I assured her and she turned to leave.

I was fairly sure of what they were going to talk about.

RENESMEE

It was strange for my mom to summon me away from everyone for a private chat. It must be something important. We walked together quietly outside past the cottage, away from hearing range and she sat on an empty log and motioned for me to sit next to her.

'So you and Jake huh?' she started, raising her eyebrow.

Of course, I should have known that this was what she wanted to talk about and I felt almost guilty because I didn't tell her earlier.

'Yeah' I said awkwardly sitting down next to her.

She was silent for a few moments as she stared into the night sky.

'I was gonna tell you' I continued.

'It's okay Renesmee' she said turning towards me and facing me 'it's just, you used to tell me everything' she said stroking my face delicately.

'I'm sorry mom; I just can't really get my own head around it all right now.'

'You can tell me anything' she said quietly and pulled me in for a hug.

When we pulled apart a smile appeared on her face and she said casually 'so have you kissed him?'

This was the second time I'd been embarrassed today and I blushed equally as red but thank god for the night sky because she couldn't see my face as clear.

'Yes' I whispered trying not to laugh, she laughed to and then looked intently at me.

'Are you happy Renesmee?' she asked.

I was happy wasn't I? I had everything a teenage girl could possibly want, a devoted boyfriend, a family willing to do anything for me, endless amounts of money. Was there anything else I could want? Instead of pondering that too seriously I just said 'yes.'

'Good, as long as you're happy everything is okay' and then she stood up and pushed back her long dark hair.

'Off you go inside, I'll tell Jake, see you tomorrow sweetie' and she kissed my hair and turned away.

I went inside the cottage and up to my room and got changed. All my flirting with Jake from earlier and my confidence and energy had dispersed and I just wanted to go to sleep so I got into the covers but as hard as I tried I couldn't. A few minutes later I heard Jake enter and then he appeared at my door.

'Hey beautiful' he greeted walking towards me and sitting on my bed.

'Hey' I smiled weakly.

'What's wrong?' he asked, he always knew when something was up, and I couldn't keep anything from Jake.

What was wrong with me? Why all of a sudden did I feel so rubbish? Was it the talk with my mom? She hadn't said anything bad but every time I talked to her I always felt this emptiness, this hollowness and loneliness. Maybe it was because I missed her, I mean I hardly spent any time with her anymore. I just didn't know.

'Can I get in?' Jake asked.

I sighed; 'of course you can Jake, you don't have to ask' and I scooted over so he could get in.

He faced me and held my face up with his hand, 'you look sad Ness, tell me what's wrong.'

I sighed again and pressed my hand to his forehead to show him what the matter was.

'I think you just miss your mom Ness, you feel guilty because you don't spend any time with her but that's okay, it's nothing to be upset about, you can always start spending more time with her.'

I nodded my head, he was right; it was nothing to get worked up about.

'Thanks Jake you make everything better' I said quietly and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

'Aww sweetie, that's what I'm here for, to make you happy.'

I snuggled up to him and fell asleep quite quickly after that.

JAKE

I woke up and looked over at my phone, it was 4am. I turned to the beautiful girl beside me and she was fast asleep and obviously had no idea what she was doing to me.

Her hand was pressed against the side of my face, interrupting my dreams with her own dreams and they were dreams that let's just say should definitely be kept from Edward. As if that wasn't enough her leg was draped right over my waist and every time she shuffled she rubbed against me and my body tensed. I had never woken up with an erection before and if I have to admit it was damn embarrassing and I needed to get Nessie off me now before she woke up and felt it. I tried to convince myself that it was a perfectly normal reaction to have to my overly gorgeous girlfriend who kept sending me her raunchy dreams and was practically on top of me but I still felt guilty. As I tried to move her leg though she woke up and I groaned.

'What is it Jake?' she asked softly, and then she looked at me trying to move her leg, she looked hurt.

'Do you not want me on you?' she asked innocently still half sleepy. I decided if I didn't tell her she'd assume I didn't want her by me. 'Er it's not you Ness' I said awkwardly and she looked puzzled for a second and then her eyes dropped to wear her leg had been and her eyes widened just a little.

'Oh, er sorry' she said sheepishly and looked down.

'I'm gonna go erm…'

'Yeah, yeah go' she said turning red but when she turned away I saw her smirking. I quickly left the room before it got way too awkward…


	16. Chapter 16 - Tension

**So this chapter's quite sad I guess but in order to make a story great you have to balance out the funny with the sad and with every relationship there is good and bad moments. **

**Oh yeah and I just wanna say Jake is gonna do something special for Nessie because Valentines day is coming up in this story and our scenery is going to change from Forks/LA Push as this is where a lot of this story has taken place… Maybe a little Nessie and Jake vacation *HINT HINT HINT***

**Oh and I wanna say thanks for all the views! I've got like thousands and thanks to my new followers aswell (:**

**Again I'm writing these at night at about 12am so I'm not checking for typos/grammar. Just Deal ~~~**

RENESMEE

Me and Jake had been together for about 2 months now but I didn't really see enough of him. Tanya's family had come to visit and that triggered a lot of Quileute boys to turn and being as Jake is the Alpha he had to explain everything to them and get them ready for their new lives. Also Billy has been quite ill on and off lately so there was that to worry about aswell.

I was thinking about this as he came up the stairs and into my room at about 11pm. I hadn't seen him since yesterday morning and I turned away from him when he came in. I knew I was being childish and spoilt but I was his imprint and he was supposed to make time for me. Sam was constantly with Emily and so were all the other girls with their wolves. I know that Jake is the Alpha but it's just so annoying. On the other hand though I was spending more time with Bella which was good and the rest of my family. The loneliness I felt for my mom had gone but now it had been replaced with an even bigger loneliness I felt for Jake.

'Ness?' Jake asked walking towards me and sitting down on my bed. He placed his hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off.

'Aw Ness, what's wrong honey?' he tried again but I ignored him and I heard him sigh. A few seconds later I felt myself being shifted and suddenly I was facing him.

'Ugh, you're so annoying' I complained.

'Ness, what have I done?' he asked softly looking me in the eyes.

'Go back to your pack Jake, I'm sure you've got lots to do there' I said miserably.

He looked at me for a moment, his eyes were gentle. 'Is that what's wrong Ness? I've been spending time with the pack? You know I have to, it's been such a stressful time'

'Yeah, I got it' I replied bitterly

He stroked my face lovingly 'you know I don't have to right? If you really want me to be with you all the time just tell me, you are my number one priority, forever and always, it's just I thought you were okay with it.'

There he goes again, guilt tripping me. He knows I hate to make him choose between me and his pack, I know it will always be me but I still always feel bad.

'I just miss you' I said, my voice softer 'we've been together for a while now and like we haven't even gone anywhere or anything, you don't even go to sleep with me anymore you just sneak in when I'm fast asleep and then you're gone when I wake up. Jake I just feel like you haven't made any time for me lately' I said, pouring my heart out and finally getting everything off my chest.

He looked appalled and suddenly lifted me into his arms, hugging me tightly. 'I'm so sorry Ness' he said quietly 'I feel awful, I just didn't even realise you felt this way, I've missed you so much aswell.' He lifted back a little to look at me 'you know what?' he said 'I'm not going anywhere without you ever again, you're going to be with me so much you're gonna be begging me to go away' I had to laugh at that one a little.

'I mean it Ness' he continued 'I need to be with you and you need to be with me, always.'

I smiled and he hugged me again.

'Did you want to go to sleep?' he asked after a while.

'Not now you're here' I whispered.

I was so love struck by Jake it was ridiculous. One look from him and my insides melted, how did I ever think turning my emotions off was a good thing? His brown eyes were warm and gentle and sparkling. His skin was amazingly warm, tanned, toned and muscular. His hair was short just the way I liked it. He was so beautiful and he was all mine.

I pressed my hand to his face to show him what I wanted and he smiled and pulled my face up and pressed his lips against mine gently. I parted my lips and deepened the kiss.

Every time he kissed me, my stomach went into tight knots. I didn't really know much about sex but I did know that I wanted him, all of him. The kisses alone did not satisfy me anymore, I wanted to be closer to him, I didn't feel like we were close enough. It was okay to think this way, my mom and dad were always at the main house most nights.

I lifted myself onto his lap and pulled him closer to me, deepening the kiss more.

My body felt so rigid, there was so much tension in the air, I could feel it but I didn't stop. I had one hand on the back of his neck keeping him closer to me and gently with my other hand I placed it underneath his shirt, tracing his abs and I heard him moan quietly. I knew he loved my touch on his bare skin but I also knew I had about 10 seconds before he pulled away and suggest we watch a movie or something. That was what he always did when things got heated.

Like I had predicted, too soon he pulled away, resting his head on my shoulder.

'Don't pull away Jake' I said softly 'I need you'

He lifted his head up and looked me in the eye 'Ness, I think you know what will happen if we don't stop, I think we need to hit the pause button.'

'No, we need to hit the go button and anyways so what? Who cares what happens, I love you, you love me, there's nothing stopping us.'

He didn't say anything; he just stared into my eyes.

'I just need to be close to you' I whispered.

'You are close to me'

'Closer' I insisted.

He kissed me again, and then put his forehead against mine. 'Ness, I don't think we should have this conversation right now' he said quietly.

'Why not?' I demanded

'Can we just drop it Ness, please' he said, looking slightly irritated.

What was his deal? 'I thought we shouldn't keep anything from eachother, this is something we need to talk about Jake!'

'I know, and we will, just not right now'

I was angry now, I got up off him.

'Every single time I try and get closer to you, you push me away! What the hell? We're boyfriend and girlfriend, you've known me since the day I was born, there is no such thing as 'too soon' with us, and we've been together for over two months and all you've done is kissed me, and you barely do that' I shouted.

He looked hurt, but he also looked annoyed and he stood up.

'What do you want from me Nessie? Do you want me to sleep with you? Is that what you're trying to tell me?' his voice was firm

I blushed. He was so outright and to the point. I was so determined to be strong and hold my own but suddenly I felt like a small child so I just turned my back to him. I could feel the tears pricking my eyes. Ugh! Stupid, half vampire half human emotions, I was way too emotional that was my problem.

'Are you crying?' he asked, his voice softer. I didn't answer.

I felt him come up behind me and wrap me in his arms, I was still facing away from him.

'I'm sorry for raising my voice, please don't cry, I can't bear it when you cry' he said gently. I hurriedly wiped a tear from my eye.

'You made me feel stupid' I said, still annoyed.

'I didn't want to do that' he paused for a moment 'I just wanted to know if that's what you were asking me, if... erm, that's what you wanted' he finished awkwardly.

I didn't know what to say, I wasn't exactly thinking that far right now I just wanted him to loosen up a little more. But I wasn't ready to finish this conversation right now, I was tired and he had dampened my mood. I shrugged out of his arms and lay down in my bed facing away from him once again and he sighed heavily.

'I'm tired' I stated.

'I guess I'm not welcome tonight, I'll be downstairs on the couch, if you need me call me' he said and got up to leave, turning my light off on the way. I didn't even try to stop him.

He stopped by the door just as he was going.

'I do love you Ness, more than anything in this whole world, don't ever think any differently. I have my reasons for certain things and I will be more than willing to talk to you about these reasons soon but right now, I need you to drop the sex thing.' I cringed into my pillow.

'I just need you to know, I want you aswell, I want to love you in every way possible and I will soon but can we let this go for now? Please? I love you so much and I hate you being mad at me.'

'Goodnight Jake' I said sternly.

'Fine' he said just as harshly and thundered down the stairs.

I just cried.


	17. Chapter 17 - In Jake's Head

**A little insight to Jake's head in this chapter, not really that exciting but necessary and vital to the rest of the story. I'll try and upload another chapter tonight/tomorrow the latest. I know I leave it quite long sometimes…**

**You'll have to deal with any typos / grammar {sorry} Just improvise if somethings wrong..**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (just the plot)**

RENESMEE

I fell asleep but I couldn't stay asleep. I kept tossing and turning, it was so horrible, I felt so lonely without Jake. I reached over to my bedside to check the time, it was almost 3am. I decided to swallow my pride and go get Jake. I got up of bed, my head was killing me, I had such a bad headache, it was always worse for me when I got headaches because I rarely got them. Ugh.

I tiptoed down the stairs and true to his word Jake was on the couch asleep, he looked way too big for the small couch. If I wasn't feeling so rubbish I would have laughed.

I approached him quietly and tried to shake his arm but he didn't really respond.

'Jake' I said quietly. Still no response so I shook him harder 'Jake! JAKE' he opened his eyes looking startled. He blinked a few times and then his eyes focused on me, 'Ness, what are you doing?' he said sleepily.

'My head's killing me, and I erm… can't sleep'

He sighed heavily, yawned and got up, walking towards the kitchen and I sat down on the couch. Yep, he was definitely still mad at me and I wasn't exactly proving that I was mature enough or ready for any kind of physical relationship yet. Damn I was pathetic; I couldn't even deal with a headache without disturbing other people. I didn't know which pills to get or how many to take. That's what you get when you have a family that do anything and everything for you 2/7, I've never had to lift a finger.

He came back with a glass of water and two pills and handed them to me without a word. I took them from him silently and he stood up watching me and then took the glass back from me.

I hated this awful silence, but I wasn't ready to admit I was wrong because I don't think that I was in the wrong.

When he came back he sat by me.

'Are you okay?' he asked gently turning to face me, and then he stroked my face. Maybe he wasn't mad at me anymore but he was probably just concerned because I didn't feel so good.

I just shook my head.

'Come on, you need to go back to sleep' he said getting up and putting his hand out to me, I took it and we went back upstairs.

'I take it you want me back in your bed?' he said smirking when I sat down in my bed. I just nodded and he got in. I leaned in close to him and he wrapped his arm tightly around me.

'I don't want you to be mad at me' I whispered.

'I'm not mad, just try and go to sleep Ness, I'm here now.'

I closed my eyes and fell asleep quite quickly.

JAKE

I listened to Nessie breathing in her sleep; the sound brought such comfort to me. I pulled her even closer to me.

Yes I was still annoyed, but not at her, I could never be mad at her personally, even if I wanted to. I was just annoyed at the whole situation; I mean she wasn't even 17 yet. She always wanted to rush into things that I know she isn't ready for yet.

Not to be mean but she didn't even know which pills to take for herself when she had a headache. It was a good job she had the family she did and myself because I shuddered to think of her out in the real world fending for herself. I mean look where it got us last time, when she decided to run off.

I still honestly don't think she knows just how much she means to me, she is everything and every decision I make is in her best interest but she just doesn't see that yet.

I realised I hadn't spent much time with Nessie lately and that just wasn't right. I needed to make sure she came above everything else; I needed to be with her when she needed me. It was probably because I hadn't spent much time with her that she suddenly felt this need to start a physical relationship, probably thinking it would bring us closer but we didn't need that to bring us closer.

I wasn't like most guys; I didn't want Nessie for sex.

I'm not saying I didn't want to, I mean of course I wanted to, she is the love of my life but I wanted to when I think she's ready and right now she just isn't.

It's was valentine's day soon and I needed to do something special for her, I had been a lousy boyfriend these past few months and I was determined to put that right because Nessie wasn't just my girlfriend, she was my everything, my reason for existence, the focus of my life, the reason for living.

I had briefly thought about this and I was gonna go on a vacation with her, we needed to get away from all of this stress going on and just get some time to be completely alone together. I'd already got the seal of approval from Bella and Edward, they knew she'd be completely safe with me but with Nessie's latest motives I wasn't so sure that was a good idea anymore. After all, although my will was strong, Nessie could probably persuade me to do anything at all if she really wanted to and I'm fairly certain she'd take full advantage of that if we were alone together.

I started to wonder back to my life before Nessie, a much duller, simpler time. The days where I had a crush on Bella and I hated Edward's guts. I never dreamed I'd be holding their daughter in my arms now, loving her with everything in me.

I thought back to when my days were completely free yet I never felt free. I had nothing to do but I felt weighed down, I wondered how on earth I used to get through each day without the presence of Nessie. I used to think that imprinting was a curse, something that was unnatural and horrible but I didn't realise how amazing it was until I'd experienced it for myself. Imprinting on Nessie is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Every day I get to spend with Nessie is a blessing; she brings meaning to my life, a purpose. I know other people see Nessie's flaws, but to me she is flawless, she is completely perfect, there is nothing that I'd change about her. Well maybe there is one thing, that pesky ability to turn emotions off but even that's sorted now. When we spoke with Nahuel when Nessie went into that state of utter silence and wouldn't respond to anyone he said that the ability to switch emotions on and off will end when she reaches full growth. That's what happened to all of his sisters. Let's just say, it's a vampire/human hybrid's version of a human teenage girl's hormonal/puberty years. Crazy right? But anyway I was ecstatic that it would eventually stop, Nessie with no emotions was the worst thing ever. It was like she was just her shell; I hoped she wouldn't do it again before she reached 18.

I knew all of this thinking was unnecessary, it was just to block out the thing that had really been bugging me and the one thing that was really on my mind. Yeah, the sex thing.

When Nessie wants something, she'll eventually get it no matter what it is. Even as kid I used to give her anything she wanted, despite Bella or Edward saying no. I don't know why it was bothering me so much but then I suddenly realised. It was because I felt guilty and I know I shouldn't but I still did anyway. It's not what your thinking, no I hadn't ever had sex with anyone before. Since Nessie was born I had no interest or desire in any women whatsoever and before that I was just a kid who had a crush on Bella. But a part of me was creeped out whilst Nessie was growing up, it's as if I was waiting for her and that kind of creeped me out because she should have a choice and it was weird if I'm being honest so I did have some kind of sexual interaction with this girl down at La Push. I don't even remember her name, how bad is that right? I didn't have sex with her, I had no desire to but I did do stuff with her. She did absolutely nothing for me and I just wanted her gone. I don't even know why I did it, I guess to see what it was like but now I couldn't regret anything more. Nessie should have been my first everything. When I kissed that girl there was nothing there, no spark, no chemistry, no love, no nothing but with Nessie it was everything. Each time I kissed her, I felt like my heart had gone to paradise and back down again, I loved her so much. More than anything, I could never live without her. I also felt bad for the kiss with Bella. I know that Nessie knew about it but she didn't talk about it, I think she tried to pretend it just didn't happen.

Just then Nessie turned in her sleep and that disrupted me from my thoughts, maybe it was my turn to go to sleep and stop thinking.


	18. Chapter 18 - Surprise

**Not checking for typos blah blah **

**Yeahhh enjoy…**

RENESMEE

It was morning before I awoke again; it was the sun blazing on my face through the windows.

I was pleasantly warm and my headache was gone, I felt really good. Jake's arm was still wrapped tightly around me and he was sleeping. I gazed up at him adoringly; I admired his structured perfect face, his hair messy. He looked so beautiful and all of my anger from before seemed to have faded and I was peaceful.

I just stared at him for a while until his eyes flickered open and he almost immediately looked down at me. He smiled.

We looked at eachother for a moment and then before uttering a single word he leaned down to kiss me. I was surprised, it usually took a lot to work Jake up for kissing me for his fear of 'going to far' but I went along with it and kissed him back. When he broke away he ran his fingers through my hair.

'I love you' he said softly and bent down again to kiss my neck.

'What brought this on?' I asked, savouring his mouth which was soft against my skin

'I love you Nessie, so much' he murmured against my neck

'I love you too' I replied and lifted his head up to kiss him again.

When we both broke away, gasping for air I rolled over so I was on top of him lying down against his chest and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

'I could get used to waking up like this every morning' I said, lightly tracing my fingers against his bare skin.

'So could I' he replied.

'I'm sorry for yesterday Ness, I really am' he added but I pressed a finger to his mouth.

'Shh' I whispered 'its forgotten okay?'

He nodded.

'It's Valentine's Day soon; I wanted us to go away together, like on vacation, because we haven't really had anytime alone together' he said playing with the ends of my hair.

'Really?' I asked, 'you'd want to be completely alone with me for a whole vacation?'

'Of course I would silly, I couldn't think of anyone better to ever spend a vacation with. I want to spend forever with you.'

I smiled. I didn't want to ruin this perfect morning, but there were things we still needed to talk about, I mean if we were going away on vacation with eachother, completely alone, what did he expect to happen?

'Jake?' I asked

'Yeah, babe?' he replied. The first time he called me babe; I did a typical teenage girl thing and noted it.

'I don't want to ruin this morning, but if were gonna go away together don't you think we should talk about our… erm… relationship?

His face fell slightly for a second but he didn't lose his cool, I knew he knew exactly what we were talking about.

'When your 17, you can bring up this conversation again okay?' he said quietly, stroking my face

'I think I'm practically 17, I'm due my review by Carlisle next week'

He sighed and sat up pulling me up with him so I was sat in his lap.

'Go ahead, talk to me' he instructed.

'Really?' I asked, this definitely looked like a trick

'Really, Nessie, I shouldn't stop you from speaking to me about certain things, so go ahead'

'Well, erm' I stuttered, what was wrong with me? _come back confidence_ my inner voice screamed 'I er' I couldn't quite find the right words. 'Oh god, I don't know what to say' I said burying my head in his neck.

He didn't respond for a moment and then he rubbed my back slowly.

'Nessie, I gave you the chance to talk to me, I don't understand' he said

'Yeah but you make it feel like an interview' I said sitting up to look at him

He didn't say anything he just waited still rubbing my back, encouraging me…

'I want us to have more of a physical relationship' I blurted out but I didn't blush, I was determined to not be embarrassed.

He breathed in and out deeply and closed his eyes for a moment, like he was deep in thought.

'And you honestly think you're ready to take that step?' he finally said staring deep into my eyes as if he could see all the way through to my soul, knowing him he probably could. I knew he was looking for any trace of hesitance or nervousness.

'Yes' I answered

'I don't know Ness, you're so young still I just feel like I'm taking advantage, you're the most important thing to me on this earth'

'I know how much you love me Jake' I assured him 'I know you'd never take advantage of me, if anything you're too hesitant, I know you'd never do anything like that to me. I want you, only you forever.'

He breathed in and out deeply again and rested his hands on my shoulder

'I will not make love to you until Carlisle tells me you're eighteen. Ideally we should wait until were married like Bella and Edward but I know you'd never agree to that, as you've already told me before _we're eternal imprints Jake, marriage is so human' _ he said quoting me and I laughed. I had often said that. I mean I did want to get married, a pretty wedding and everything someday but not for the reason to make love. We were imprints, that's more official than any piece of paper.

'Okay' I smiled 'but we can other stuff until then' I offered and he raised his eyebrows, he looked so hot when he did that.

'Like what?' he said suggestively and I bit down on my lip not quite sure of what to say.

'I don't know, you must know more than me, you're older' I said

'So you want a physical relationship and you have no idea what kind of stuff that involves?' he quizzed.

'Not really' I admitted 'I mean, I don't really have any experience with this kind of stuff, obviously'

'And you think I have?' he asked

'Well you must at least know stuff, even if you haven't done anything' I said but then suddenly it hit me. I hadn't really ever asked about Jake's previous love life before I was born. I knew he used to have a crush on my mom but I pretended that didn't happen because it was just horrible and I didn't like to think about it. But other than her Jake must have had other girlfriends, he was gorgeous but I hated the idea of someone else touching and kissing my Jake.

'Jake, have you ever had another girlfriend' I asked quietly, not really wanting to know the answer.

His breathing hitched and I could tell he had been praying this question would never come up but after all it was inevitable.

'I wouldn't say girlfriend' he answered 'or anything close, girlfriend implies you care about them and I didn't care about any girls I ever dated.'

'You dated other girls?' I said, trying not to cry. Ugh why was I such a baby? Wasn't it obvious he had had a life before I existed?

'None of them meant anything Ness, I was just a guy, I wanted to fit in with everyone else. They Literally meant nothing, you're the one for me, the only one, always and forever.'

And then I asked the question I really didn't want an answer for, 'have you ever slept with anyone Jake?' I asked looking down.

'No' he answered quietly and I looked back up. I believed him.

'Have you ever been intimate with anyone before?'

He didn't answer for a long time and he looked down and at that moment I knew that he had, and I just knew it was more than a kiss. I scrambled out of his lap and got up out of the bed standing up, running my hands through my hair. I couldn't get over the thought of someone being intimate with Jake, he was MINE. I was so angry and hurt and when I was angry and hurt we all knew what happened. The part of me that didn't want to feel anything was throbbing, begging me to turn the emotions off but I couldn't, I promised Jake, I promised everyone. It took everything I had to stay in control.

'Nessie, come back here' he said

'Who was it?' I asked calmly still looking away from him. I heard him sigh heavily.

'It was just some random girl in La Push, I don't even remember her name, she didn't mean anything' he insisted

'So you let some random La Push girl feel you up and vice versa, but you didn't even want to speak about any kind of physical relationship with me!' I screamed, I was angry now.

He got up of the bed and edged towards me but I pushed him away hard and he stumbled back into the bed 'stay away from me' I shouted and the tears started to come.

'It's because I care about you!' he shouted back 'I didn't care about her, I don't care about anyone else! You're my forever!'

'Yeah but you've already done stuff before and I haven't done anything and I feel like such an idiot' I said crying angry tears

'I love that you've never done anything, it adds to everything else that is pure and perfect about you, honestly Nessie, I've never regretted anything more in my life, trust me.'

I needed air, my emotions were getting the better of me and I needed to get away from Jake for a bit before I gave in and turned them off again and I didn't want to. I couldn't wait until this ability stopped when I was 18. I took one last look at him with his pleading eyes and ran straight from the room, towards the woods. My sanctuary.

When I got to my favourite place in the woods, I looked back but Jake wasn't following me which was good. I needed space and distance to clear my head. I hated being angry with him but I was just so upset that another girl had been with him the way I so desperately wanted to.

I was there for about fifteen minutes when I heard quiet footsteps behind me.

'Go away Jacob' I shouted, even though he'd be able to hear me if I whispered.

'Yes, he does need to go away doesn't he? Then it can be just me and you' a strange voice spoke. It wasn't Jake's voice. I froze in fear and turned around hesitantly to find Nahuel standing strong and tall. A few metres away from me …

**Word of warning: the next chapter is pretty intense…**


	19. Chapter 19 - Falling

**This chapter was hard to write because it was so sad but this is really important for both of them and in the world of vampires and werewolves there is a lot of bad things that happen and there needs to be some action. I think this experience will both make them stronger in the end and bring them closer together in a new way. So it's very intense and upsetting but after a few more chapters, we will finally hopefully get over all of these sad bits and bumpy roads and Nessie always running off and we will get to see a real love story.**

RENESMEE

He was standing there, tall and lean with no shirt on and just some light sweats. I could guess who his inspiration was. His hair was short and cropped black and his eyes were glistening red. He fed on humans.

'What are you doing here?' I asked, my voice even. I was very aware I was completely alone with him and I was trying my hardest to stay cool and not show him that I was afraid.

'It's Valentine 's Day soon silly and I want you to be my valentine Renesmee' he said inching just a little closer to me.

'I'm with Jacob' I said blankly

'Doesn't seem like it to me, I happened to overhear a little of your conversation. It seems you want something desperately that Jake's reluctant to give you but dear sweet Renesmee, I do not see you as a child like he does, you're a grown woman and you're beautiful and I will give you what you want' he said seductively.

'You've been watching me?' I said angrily. I was thoroughly disgusted that he had been spying on my very private conversation with Jake. I hated Nahuel so much, he had this way of just showing up every once in a while, either at my house to visit the family or at the mall or wherever. I actually just wish somebody would kill him so he would be gone for good.

'Of course I have, you're the most beautiful little thing I've ever seen in my life, you could be my princess, and we'd conquer the world.'

I just stared at him in disgust and disbelief, he was repulsive and he was crazy. I started to stride forward but he blocked my path.

'I don't want you to leave' he said smirking and that's when I choked on my fear. I was strong but I wasn't as strong as him, oh god how I wished Jacob was here, _please come and find me Jacob_ I mentally wished harder than anything ever.

'Move out of my way Nahuel' I said hard but he just laughed and moved close to me and gently traced his finger across my cheekbone.

'God, you're so fucking beautiful, Jake doesn't know what he's missing.'

Fear started to kick in and I tried again to move but he pushed me back hard and placed his hands on my shoulders and smiled cruelly.

'We can do this the easy way or the hard way Renesmee. Your choice but either way I will ravish your perfect body right here in these woods because you're just too beautiful. I wish you'd do it the easy way though because I want you to enjoy it aswell.'

'You're disgusting, I'll never enjoy anything you give me' I shouted trying to break out of his grasp but he was just too strong. I started to hyperventilate.

He smiled widely and leaned forward to my ear, I could feel his hot breath linger on my skin as he whispered in my ear. I felt like I was going to be sick.

'I know you're a virgin, this can be beautiful Renesmee' he leered and at those words I started to thrash and squirm and eventually I broke his hold and ran as fast as I could but he caught up with me quickly and pinned me down onto the floor, holding my arms above my head. I couldn't believe it, this was truly going to happen and there was nothing I could do about it. There was no option but to turn my emotions off, at least I wouldn't be afraid anymore. I wouldn't feel anything so I wouldn't care. I closed my eyes and thought of Jake and then I decided Jake would tell me to keep fighting him, you never give up without a fight. I opened my eyes and as he leaned down to kiss my neck I sank my teeth into his neck, as hard as I possibly could, ripping chunks of flesh out of his skin. Blood drinking could be pleasurable but if the person receiving wasn't willing it was excruciating. He jumped back like he had an electricity shot and I scrambled up. His eyes were blazing, he was furious.

'You stupid little bitch, you're going to pay for that' and before I had time to run he grabbed me and slammed my head against a large rock on the floor hard. So hard I went dizzy, the pain was blinding and now I was weak and I couldn't fight back. I was seeing stars. I screamed Jake's name as hard as I could but he slammed my body hard against the rock again and I felt the pain rip through me. This was it, I was going to die. And then he grabbed me by my neck and sank his teeth into me as hard as he possibly could and tossed me to the ground. My body convulsed and that's when I realised he had bitten me. Nahuel was venomous. I wasn't reacting the way I knew I should be to the change and that was because I wasn't a full human. This venom was poisonous to me and it was going to kill me. Instead of feeling fire course through my body I felt pain. Blinding pain and it was just too much to bear. My eyes closed on their own. My head felt like it was about to explode and I could hear my own heartbeat trying to beat rapidly but I knew it was faltering. I was too tired and I couldn't fight anymore. I felt something pulling me down, something calm and inviting, it was as if I was drowning, drifting away. As I felt myself drifting, I remember hearing the sound of the padding footsteps of wolves and the cries and pleas of my attacker being ripped limb from limb.

I could hear Jake by me screaming my name, shaking me hard but I couldn't feel him, I was numb and I was too far gone. It took everything I had to open my eyes to look at his face one last time before I died. Tears were streaming down his face.

'Don't you dare leave me' he cried 'don't you dare Renesmee' I could make out a blur of vampires behind him, Carlisle at my other side trying to fix the irreversible damage. I couldn't speak or move so I gazed into his eyes and with all the strength I had left I used it to expand my power of sending my thoughts to other people. I didn't know if it worked, I hoped it did. It usually had to be me touching the person but I couldn't move so this was the best I could hope for.

_I love you Jake, so much, more than anything, I'm so sorry _I sent to him and I heard him whisper 'I love you, you'll be okay Nessie, we'll make you better' as he choked on his own tears. Those were the last words I heard, and the last thing I felt was a pair of teeth into my neck, sucking out the poison but it was no use. I surrendered to the darkness.


	20. Chapter 20 - Disaster

**Another sad chapter but again vitally important.**

**This chapter is quite long so hope you appreciate how much I wrote ****  
I Promise the next chapter will be happier, well a little bit (: **

JACOB

Was this what our whole relationship was going to be like? We disagree and Nessie runs off into the woods? I can't cope with it. I wanted to go after her straight away but maybe she needed a little time alone, I decided I would give her a little while. I sat on her bed, trying to think but I couldn't relax, I couldn't think straight, I was edgy and something just didn't feel right. I waited for a while pacing up and down, back and forth. I couldn't even sit still and this was unlike me. It had been nearly twenty minutes now and that's when I heard, well more like felt something. I couldn't describe it but it felt like Nessie needed me. She needed me to come to her. It was a strange sensation; it was like the imprint was pulling us together, hinting to me that she was in need of me right now.

That was enough for me; I strode out of the house, still in my clothes from last night and marched right up to the Cullen's. I thought everything in my head so I wouldn't have to explain myself when I got there and true enough when I arrived outside Edward was standing there waiting, with Bella at his side and the rest of his family behind him. Rosalie growled.

'What did you do to her?' she snarled. It took every ounce of control I had not to jump at her and tear her throat out.

'Not now Rosalie' Edward spoke in authority 'come on, Jake feels something, we need to go and find Renesmee.'

They all nodded in agreement and they ran immediately into the woods whilst I quickly phased and ran up to join them. As I was running as fast as I possibly could I signalled the others to immediately forget what they were doing and head towards the woods to find Nessie. I heard Leah murmur horrible comments but I snarled at her warning her and she quickly shut up.

I told everyone to go straight to Nessie's favourite place in the woods, quite far in, North by the little creek and valley.

It didn't take us long to get there but when I arrived I was thrown back by the scene that awaited me. Nahuel, the hybrid like Nessie, the disgusting repulsive one leaning against a tree, fuming, anger pouring out at him, his eyes ablaze. I followed the directions of his gaze down to the floor.

There lay my reason for existence, my everything, my world, the love of my life on the floor. Her body was doing these weird things, like she was convulsing. The side of her neck was covered in blood. Her eyes were closing and her fragile heartbeat was racing heavily, trying it's hardest to keep beating. I can't describe the pain that drifted through my body right down into my very soul because there's just no words. My first thought was to launch at Nahuel and tear him limb from limb whilst he begged me to kill him but my reflex, my instinct was to go to Nessie. I phased back right there in front of everyone, I didn't care. I pulled my shorts on from round my leg and sprinted towards her.

I bent my head to hear her breathing. She was still breathing but it was shallow.

I didn't know what to do! She was dying!

'CARLISLE!' I screamed 'HELP HER NOW, SHE'S DYING' he came running over quickly and immediately got out the first aid kit he'd bought along with him but then he looked at her neck and pressed his lips to the wound.

'He's bitten her. He's venomous'

'She's going to be a full vampire?' I gasped aloud in horror

'No Jacob' Edward said from behind me bending down to listen to her heart 'the venom is poisonous to her, she's dying.' He looked so anguished, so pained but it was nothing that compared to my pain.

'Don't you dare leave me 'I shook her hard 'don't you dare Renesmee' I shouted, tears streaming down my face.

I leaned my face into her neck and cried and then I saw her open her eyes weakly. I gazed into her chocolate brown eyes and stroked her face.

And then the weirdest thing happened, her thoughts filled my mind without her even touching me.

_I love you Jake__, so much, more than anything, I'm so sorry _I heard her say in my head, clear as a bell. I choked on my tears. She was not going to die, I would not allow it.

'I love you, you'll be okay Nessie, we'll make you better' I whispered, my voice breaking and that's when she closed her eyes. Her heartbeat was still beating but only faintly.

'DO SOMETHING, SUCK THE POSION OUT GOD DAMMIT, I'LL DO IT MYSELF' I moved to try to get to the other side of her neck but Edward pushed me back.

'You'll die, I'll try and do it' and he pressed his marble lips to Nessie's wound, sucking her blood. This was an image that would haunt me forever.

'My baby' Bella dry sobbed kneeling down by me holding Nessie's hands. I touched Nessie's hands aswell. The same hands that had been warm and soft earlier were now stone cold.

'Keep your heart beating angel, don't you dare give up, keep your heart beating for me' I chanted to Nessie hoping more than anything she could still here me.

Edward lifted his head from her neck, his lips stained red.

'Her blood is clean, the venom is all out'

'We need to get her back home' Carlisle spoke, also trying not to break down and keep his composure 'I need to check her head.'

'What's wrong with her head?' I asked, still crying

'Believe it or not that seems to be the main cause of her stature. It appears her head was smashed against this rock, he gestured to the rock behind her and I gasped aloud, sobbing even harder. My angel, my poor Nessie. It was all my fault. I had done this.

'No Jacob, it isn't' Edward said reading my thoughts.

Carsile ordered Edward to run back to the house to get the head and neck brace before we could move her and he was back before we could blink. Carlisle secured it around her and then we all lifted her gently and walked back to the house.

I didn't have time to turn back around to see what was going on. All I could hear was the screeching and begging from Nahuel and I could tell Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and the wolves were taking care of him. Everything was like a blur to me and all I could focus on was Nessie. All I was listening to was her heartbeat, chanting to her to keep her heart beating.

When we arrived we layed her down on the operating table upstairs and Carlisle immediately started inserting needles into her. I was losing it, I was going mad, I needed her to open her eyes and tell me she was going to be okay. I needed her to tell me to stop worrying and that everything was going to be fine. I ran my hands through my hair.

'Jacob maybe it's best if you wait outside' Edward suggested

'NO WAY' I screamed loudly

'I think it's best if you all left please actually so I can concentrate on what I'm doing. Leave now.' Carlisle ordered.

Bella and Edward looked torn.

'I can't leave her you know that' I said trying to be calm.

And then a bleeper went off, loudly, echoing the room.

'HER HEARTBEATS FAILING PASS ME THE DEFIBRILLATOR NOW' Carlisle shouted loudly and Edward raced across the room to pass it to him.

Bella hid her head in her hands and fell to the floor screaming.

'SAVE HER CARLISLE' I screamed and rushed towards her.

'MOVE JACOB, NOW' He demanded but my feet were locked in place. I couldn't hear her hearbeat anymore and I sank to my knees like Bella crying uncontrollably. My eyes locked on her perfect face. As still as stone, all the colour gone and faded.

'Open your eyes, open them Nessie' I cried.

I felt arms prying me back and I thrashed against them but they were too many of them and they were too strong.

'You stupid mutt, do you want to phase right here and risk hurting her even more?' Rosalie growled dragging me back along with Jasper and Emmett whilst Edward and Alice grabbed Bella.

I was suddenly out of the medical room and I found myself thrown outside the house.

'Sorry Jacob, you can't lose control in here, you can't. You need to calm down and come back when you're in control.'

'I NEED TO BE IN THERE, SHE'S DYING' I screamed trying to run forward but Emmett just pushed me back again.

'And you can't help her Jacob' Alice said calmly 'Edward and Carlisle can'

I couldn't believe this was happening. I kicked my motorbike that was outside the house and sent it flying into the woods a mile away in anger and then I kicked a car, shattering it into a million pieces. The next thing I remember was feeling a sharp stab and then cold liquid coursing through me. My last thought was of Nessie before I fell to the ground.

I woke some time later. Disorientated and not sure of what time it was or even where I was. I awoke with a jolt and staring into my face was the unappealing face of Rosalie and the sympathetic face of Alice.

'What did you do to me?' I asked trying to get up but falling back feeling dizzy.

'You were going crazy so we tranquilised you' Rosalie stated simply.

'You started breaking and throwing things. It was quite scary' Alice whispered.

That bought me back down to reality and I suddenly remembered why I acted that way.

'Where's Nessie?' I demanded storming up the stairs and they didn't even try to stop me.

I walked into the medical room; Carlisle was still fiddling with tubes, his face a mask of worry. It was only him and my angel. I walked forward to look at her. She still looked the same, white face, cold. Completely lifeless.

I started to cry again and Carlisle sympathetically, quite awkwardly patted my back and grabbed me a chair to sit on by her side and I reached out and held her hands.

I could hear her heart beating rapidly and I sighed a breath of relief.

'How is she?' I asked after a few moments.

'She's in a coma Jacob. The poison is out her system, it's not that that's the main problem, it's her head wound. Half vampire or not a crack to the head with such force should have killed her. I honestly don't know how her heart is still beating. It's miraculous.'

I smiled weakly as I stared down at her still crying.

'That's right isn't it Nessie? You're a fighter. Remember what I always told you? You never give up without a fight.'

I turned back to Carlisle, 'she's going to live isn't she? She's going to be okay, tell me she's going to be okay.'

He grabbed a chair and sat next to me staring down at his granddaughter sadly.

'I would love to tell you that Jacob. I honestly would but I just don't know. Right now, she seems to be stabilised, we've got her heartbeat normal but things could take a turn for the worse or the better. The head injury was awful Jacob; part of her skull is fractured. And it's not just her head; it appears her body was also thrown against the rock.'

I winced at that. I didn't want to imagine it, the pain my angel must have felt. She needed me and I wasn't there, I was never going to forgive myself if I lived for a thousand years.

'There's bruises all over her body, some ribs were broken, her wrist is broken. She's very much broken Jacob.'

I had to try not to break down completely in front of him.

'I will do everything I can Jacob, I'll leave you to be alone with her.' He said as he got up to leave.

'Hold on, what about him?' I asked a growl in my voice, wishing it was me who had ripped him limb from limb into a bloody mess. But Nessie needed me with her; she didn't need a rage filled murderer of a soulmate.

'He has been dealt with. I believe the others and the wolves had a little too much fun making him suffer first. He is dead' and with that he left.

'Wake up Nessie' I cried 'please wake up I love you so much I can't live without you I just can't, I'm so sorry' I begged her as I leant down into her neck, crying my heart out. When would I wake from this nightmare?


	21. Chapter 21 - A Little Magic

**One thing I have learnt is not to rush my stories. Looking back at my first fan fic, my first Renesmee/Jacob story Fragile Change I realised it was way too rushed and I was determined for my final Renesmee and Jacob story {this one} to be a lot more slower paced with a lot more emotion. It takes a lot of hard work to get to the prime and the height of a relationship {even if you're eternal imprints…}**

JACOB

Nessie had been in this coma for the last 3 days. I hadn't eaten, I hadn't slept, and I was ready to collapse. I had stayed by her bed the whole time and she had shown no signs of improvement. I talked to her constantly. Reminiscing about the old days, talking about how much I loved her, talking about the future. I was sure I looked exactly like a mad man. Everyone had tried many times to pry me away but I wasn't having any of it. She was going to live and she was going to be okay.

Just then Carlisle came in to run some checks.

He glanced at me and raised his eyebrow 'you know, if you don't get some rest, you'll won't be able to look after her when she wakes up.'

I knew what he was saying was true but I just couldn't move from her like physically couldn't.

My face lingered on her one last time before I tore myself from her and forced myself to leave.

I awoke 6 hours later, feeling refreshed and rested. I had slept at the Cullen's, not wanting to be far from her. Now it was back to Nessie.

I walked into the most chaotic atmosphere. Bella crying hysterically with Edward holding her. Carlisle zooming around, and a loud bleeping noise.

'WHAT'S HAPPENING?' I charged over to her, her lips were turning blue. I gasped aloud.

'CARLISLE SHE CAN'T BREATHE' I screamed

'DO YOU NOT THINK I REALISE THAT?' He shouted back trying to push me out the way to get a tube into her throat.

'MOVE' I pushed him out of the way hard. Obviously what he was doing wasn't working, he wasn't making her better.

I pressed my mouth against her icy lips and opened it fully and breathed into her. Pouring everything I had, all the life in me, into her. I would not lose her. Ever.

At that moment I felt something happen. It was that strange sensation, the imprint pulling us closer together, something happening out of this world. A magical force.

I breathed into her for what seemed like a very long time, holding onto the pull that I felt.

_Come on Ness _I thought as I continued to breathe into her mouth.

I felt the pull getting stronger and stronger as I carried on breathing, I knew she was coming back to me I could feel it.

_Come on Ness, sweetheart, open your eyes_

The pull got so strong. I could feel her lips getting warmer, I could hear her breathing, her lungs rising rapidly in her chest and then she jolted. Her eyes shot wide open, slightly tinted red from the human blood Carlisle had been injecting her with. She gasped heavily, breathing hard for air and I stumbled back from the force.

'OH MY GOD NESSIE' I cried, in tears of happiness. Carlisle immediately came forward with Bella and Edward placing a breathing mask full of oxygen onto her face. Her eyes were wide and darting all round the room. She was in a state of shock.

We all came close to her, I held her hands.

'You're okay Ness, you're here, and you're alive' and I just cried and cried.

3 days later…

Nessie was now sitting up and she didn't need the breathing mask anymore. We were alone together for a while.

'Thank you for the roses' she said softly gesturing towards the huge bouquet of pink roses I'd bought for her.

'Anything for you' I said staring into her beautiful chocolate brown eyes. Those same eyes a part of me thought I might never see again. Nearly losing Nessie had completely changed my life. If it was possible I treasured her even more than I thought I ever could. I never wanted to have another argument with her; I never wanted us to be apart. I needed us to be together, forever, just loving eachother.

And when she was ready I was willing, more than willing to give her what she wanted. What I wanted. To find another way to show her how much I loved her. More than anything.

Her eyes tightened a little bit and her smile disappeared. I instantly moved my hand to gently cup her face.

'Are you okay?' I asked her

'I'm scared Jake' she admitted.

'You don't have to be afraid anymore Nessie. I will always be here for you, always. You are safe with me, and that's where you'll always be, with me.'

She turned to face me, tears glistening in her eyes making them sparkle.

'I thought I was going to die' and a tear escaped her eye running down her cheek. I wiped it away with my thumb and kissed her cheek gently.

'You're okay now Nessie, you're here with me, you're okay.'

'Hold me?' she asked and I obliged, getting onto the bed with her, being extra careful with her badly damaged body and wrapped my arm around her pulling her close to me.

We were quiet for a few moments before she said quietly, 'I felt it Jake, you brought me back to life, you breathed life into me.'

I guess I did.

'I would of give my life to you if I had to Ness but yes I felt it too.'

'Maybe it's an imprint thing' she suggested

'Or maybe it's a Jake madly in love with Nessie, loves her more than everything, willing to sacrifice anything to save her thing' I replied kissing the top of her hair and she laughed gently.

'It felt peaceful dying Jake, It felt like I was drowning, like drifting away. The only thing that kept me from giving in was you. I could hear you, I could remember you, all I could think about was you.'

I think a tear escaped my eye that moment.

'I always told you to never give up and you didn't and I'm so proud of you Nessie.'

'You promised me you'd never leave me remember?' she asked and I nodded, 'So I made my own promise, to never leave you no matter what. I'm sorry for putting you through hell.'

'I did go through hell. A world without you isn't a world at all Nessie. You're what makes everything else matter, without you nothing matters and I cease to exist.'

'I love you' she said leaning even closer into me.

'I love you more.'


	22. Chapter 22 - Can I Take My Clothes Off?

**My longest chapter I've ever done so you best be appreciative!**

**Enjoy **

**Oh and since I have a whole week off school I'll probably update every day this week **

**Review!**

'I think Renesmee, you should be okay to start trying to walk' Carlisle smiled over at me after just running my hourly checks. It had been about 8 days since my accident and he thought I should start trying to walk again but I was still in a lot of pain. I frowned and he laughed lightly.

'You can't stay in bed forever sweetheart, come on let's give it a try'

Just then Jake walked in flashing a brilliant smile at me, he'd only been gone about an hour but I'd still missed him terribly.

'Jacob' Carlisle greeted him 'I was just telling Renesmee I think it would be a brilliant idea for her to try and walk again but she's reluctant. I've done all her checks and she's recovering very fast now. Perhaps you can give her some encouragement. I'l be back in a little while, I've got to check out the hospital. I haven't been there in days, I think Renesmee is well enough to be left for a little while now. I won't be long' he smiled down at me. I loved my grandfather a lot. I don't know what I'd do without him. He bent to give me a kiss on the forehead and on his way out reminded Jake to encourage me. I scowled, I didn't want to be encouraged I had no desire to walk just yet.

He sat down on the chair beside my bed he had been practically living on since my accident.

'Hey beautiful' he said, his usual greeting. I smiled at him, my heart instantly warming whenever he was with me.

'Are you gonna try and walk today Ness?' He asked and that smile turned into a frown and I shook my head.

He laughed gently 'come on Ness, just a little walk yeah? For me?'

I was debating, I didn't want to but I knew I had to eventually, I couldn't stay in bed forever

'Il hold you, the entire time' he promised. Well that did sound more appealing and he must of saw the change in my face because he extended his hand.

'Come on I know you can do it'

Just then my whole family walked through the door obviously overhearing the conversion, smiles of encouragement plastered on their faces.

'You can do it Renesmee' my dad said gently smiling at me and my mom looked like she was about to cry again.

I looked at each of their faces and then finally at the face of the one I loved more than anything. He still had his hand outstretched and I hesitantly took it as he stood up. It took me a while (and a lot of help from Jake) to clamber out of the bed but I finally managed it.

I was standing next to him holding his hand whilst my family praised me and then I looked down at my outfit. It hasn't occurred to me I had no idea what I was dressed in. I had on designer tight fitted skinny black jeans and a baby blue sweater crystallised in diamonds at the back.

'Seriously Alice?' I said and they all laughed including her.

'Sorry, couldn't help it' she whispered.

After wards they looked at me expectantly waiting for me to walk so I nervously put one front in front of the other and started.

Jake kept a tight hold of me and held my waist and when I had done a full circle of the room they all clapped and cheered and told me how marvellous and brilliant and spectacular I was.

'Okay Nessie, your mom and dad and obviously Jacob will be here and Carlise is coming back but the rest of us have to go shopping for your party' Alice sang excitedly

'Honestly Alice you don't have to, I don't need a party' I groaned

'It's a celebration that your alive and your okay, that and it's your 17th birthday in a few days, remember?'

Ah yes I suddenly remembered. 17. Finally old enough for Jacob and me to get a little more physical

'Nessie control your thoughts please' my dad said wincing, pretending not to hear and I blushed red. Oops.

Nobody bothered to ask, they just knew I was thinking something along those lines and laughed, including Jacob. They all hugged me, Alice and Rose smothering me in kisses promising to buy me all sorts of stuff and then they left.

'You don't mind if we go over to the cottage for a while and then hunting do you Nessie? We're close if you need anything, and you've got Jacob.' My mom said hugging me lightly.

'Not at all' I answered quickly. I couldn't wait to be alone with Jacob.

My dad raised his eyebrows, kissed me on the forehead and then left. I was only too sure what they were going over to the cottage and hunting to do. I shuddered at the thought.

'Sorry Ness, looks like you're stuck with me' Jake said smiling sitting on the end of my bed.

'I don't mind' I leaned closer to him ignoring the pain I was in 'actually it's my favourite thing'

I leaned in to kiss him and he gently kissed me back. He tilted up my chin and kissed me deeper. It felt so good kissing him again when I hadn't kissed him for days. He traced his tongue against the bottom of my lip and I opened my mouth letting his tongue gain entrance and I felt him smile against my lips. And then he ever so gently pushed me back on the bed and hovered over me and trailed kisses down my neck. Fire coursed through me and there was a tingling sensation from head to toe and all I could think about was how much I wanted him at this moment. He moved back to my mouth and kissed me harder and deeper before gently rolling over to lay next to me whilst we were both gasping for air.

I turned on my side to face him.

'I want you' I said quietly and he faced me stroking my hair, my face, my cheeks.

'I want you too Ness, so much'

'Make love to me' I demanded and he laughed lightly.

'I will. We will. I promise. But not now, your still injured, you need to get better.'

I rolled my eyes and he laughed

'When I'm better?'

'When your better' he agreed

'And what if that was tomorrow? Or maybe even tonight'

'Then I'd scoop you up, take us somewhere completely beautiful and give you everything I have'

He leaned closer to me so that his mouth was by my ear

'I'd make you scream my name, but not out of fear this time. No this time I'll make you scream my name in pleasure'

His hot breath lingered there by my ear as I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent, processing everything he just said. And then I opened my eyes to look directly at him.

'Why are you doing this? Why are you agreeing now? Jake I don't want us to do this because I almost died and you think you owe me or something. I want us to do this out of love and because you want to.'

He listened and then he once more moved to hover over me again.

'Listen to me Renesmee Carlie Cullen. I love you and I want this. Trust me.' He gazed at me lustfully and then leaned down to press his lips softly against mine . I rolled over so I was on top of him, not breaking the kiss once. His hand cupped my ass pulling me tightly to him and I groaned at the contact. Jake had never done this before, he was definitely pushing the boundaries.

When he held me tighter I felt the stabbing pain run up my body and I couldn't help but wince. I didn't think he'd notice since we were still kissing but he did and stopped almost at once gently loosening his hold and placing me back on the bed as we both sat up.

'Ness? Are you alright? Did I hurt you?' He asked his face full of concern.

'Its okay Jake I think I just forgot how sore I still was'

He stroked my face 'I'm sorry, no more getting carried away until your better.'

I grimaced and he hugged me gently.

'Do you mind if I take my clothes off? I asked him 'it's just I'm a little uncomfortable'

I genuinely wasn't trying anything on right now with him, it was just these clothes were really starting to be a little annoying. The jeans were skin tight, sort of like Sandy's out of Grease and the sweater was making me hot.

'Uh, erm I guess not' he said a little hesitantly. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable but we should be able to do this now at this stage of our relationship and after what just happened I think we were ready for the next step. It wasn't like I was going to be sitting there naked.

I tried to take my sweater off but it was kind of difficult so Jake helped me. When it was off his eyes widened and he almost gasped. I looked down to see what was wrong and I realised he was staring at the purple and blue bruises that covered my shoulders and stomach.

He lightly traced the bruises on my shoulder blades and then a tear escaped his eyes.

'Im so sorry I wasn't there to save you, I'm so so so sorry Nessie'

I cupped his face with both my hands.

It was strange to see Jake cry because he rarely did. I could tell he was extremely hurt.

''Don't cry, you did save me, I'm okay now and were together. The bruises are already fading Jake. They'll heal and it will be as if they were never there'

It took a while to convince him I was okay but eventually he nodded and kissed me gently.

I also finally managed to get my jeans off and I felt a lot better.

His hand ran up my bare thigh sending chills through my body and he smiled.

'You're so beautiful' he said to me sweetly

'So are you' I replied

His eyes locked with mine before swerving down and lingering on my chest. I was aware I was only in a thin lacy black bra and I suddenly felt a little self concious. My breasts were not big and I wondered if Jake would of preferred if I had.

'For the record' he said slowly, tracing the outline of the cups of my bra with his fingertips 'I'm not really into the whole big chest thing, I'd like to be able to breathe and not be suffocated when I make love to the love of my life'

I gasped when I realised my hand had been on him so he was able to hear my thoughts. I blushed red.

'Don't be embarrassed, you're perfect'

'I'm not perfect' I disagreed with him still blushing

'You are to me, you are _for_ me' he insisted

I smiled and he ran his hand along my thigh again. God I loved it when he did that. His eyes wandered to the ruffled lace of my underwear and it was only then I realised Alice put me in a brand new thong. Oh My God Alice.

'I like this' he lightly tugged at the ruffle

'Really?' I asked, surprised. I thought Jake liked innocent Nessie.

He chuckled softly.

'I love innocent Nessie but that doesn't mean I don't love her provocative sexy lingerie.' He leaned closer and whispered in my ear 'for my eyes only' he added.

'Always' I breathed heavily. This was a new side of Jake I'd actually never seen before and I adored it. He wasn't been so cautious, and I felt as if more of himself was coming out now, the real him.

He smiled softly at me and pulled me in for a hug rubbing my back soothingly.

'When should we get married?' I asked him after a moment, completely randomly.

'You want to marry me?' He asked raising his eyebrows

'Of course I do silly' I told him and he leaned in to kiss me lightly on the lips

'Whenever you want but not yet sweetheart we should wait a few years'

I nodded my head agreeing with him.

'I love you Jake'

'Aw aren't you being incredibly nice today?'

'You saved my life. You brought me back to you'

'We saved each other'

I smiled before another thought popped into my head.

'I want to go back into my own room do you think it's okay?'

'Shouldn't see why not, we'll ask Carlisle when he comes back okay?'

I nodded. I was fed up of this medical room I needed normality.

'Can we go downstairs?' I asked him

'Can you make it?'

I had to ponder that one slightly

'Better not risk it, come on' he said smiling and getting up holding his arms out for me.

He carried me downstairs and into the living room and placed me on the sofa.

We watched a movie together, me leaning into him and his arm wrapped possessively around me.

Just as I was feeling warm and content and happy his phone rang and he awkwardly tried to get it whilst still holding me. I could hear the conversation easily. It was Paul.

'Hey man what you doing?

'I'm looking after Ness' he replied 'what's up?'

Paul sighed heavily 'sorry to disturb you man Jake but Leah's going crazy. She's having another one of her fits' his sentence seemed unfinished, Jake noticed it too.

'And?' he prompted

'This time the rage is aimed at Nessie. I'm not gonna say exactly _what_ I don't want her to find out and she can probably hear but it isn't nice. You've gotta get down here'

He closed his eyes shut and breathed hard 'I'll be there in a few' and he hung up quickly.

It was no secret Leah Clearwater hated me and it wasn't unusual for her to have tantrums and fits either but I hated that Jake had to be the one to control her. She'd only ever listen to him.

Everyone knew Leah crushed on Jake but that's all it would ever be and she needed to get over it, because he was mine. All mine.

I looked up at him 'I'll be fine Jake' I insisted even though I was scared out of my wits to be left alone. Leah needed help though and I didn't want to be responsible for always holding Jake back.

He faced me and opened his eyes

'You honestly think I'm going to leave you? Seriously you're crazy sometimes Nessie.'

'Then what are you going to do?' I asked

'You're coming with me' he replied 'I'll be two seconds hold on'

He quickly dashed up the stairs and before I even had time to register the fact that he was gone he appeared downstairs with some lose sweats and one of my more baggier tshirts.

I didn't know if I was well enough to be out but I trusted that Jake would take care of me.

He helped me put on my clothes and then lifted me up and carried me out into the car, holding me like I was a doll that was about to break.

'I'm sorry Ness for bringing you out, but she has to be controlled I've honestly had enough with her'

I nodded and we started to drive.

When we reached the reservation we saw Leah in wolf form now and the others in human form hesitantly round her trying to calm her down, she looked angrier than I've ever seen her before, her teeth were snapping and snarling.

'Stay here' Jake ordered before getting out.

But I'm just as stubborn as my mom so naturally I got out and went to stand by the others. Leah had ran off now at the sight of Jake and he had changed to wolf form follow her.

'Hey Ness' Seth greeted pulling me into a hug and draping his arm over my shoulder.

'We've missed you, are you okay?'

'Still in a bit of pain but I'm getting better'

'Good' and he kissed the top of my hair.

'What's wrong with Leah?' I asked

He looked hesitant to answer but Paul wasn't shy at all, he came over and leaned on a log in front of me crossing his arms.

'She loves Jake and I'm afraid that you're just in the way Ness'

I already knew that, there was something else they weren't telling me

'What else?' I insisted

'She wishes that you were still ill Ness' he answered sympathetically

'So basically she's angry cause I'm not dead?'

They all grimaced and Seth tightened his arm round me

'Sorry Ness, I don't know what's wrong with her, I know she's my sister and all but she's screwed up with the way she thinks. We all love you just ignore her.'

Just at that moment she appeared back in human form, eyes blazing, focusing on me.

'Don't even start Leah, leave her alone' Seth said moving to stand in front of me protectively as the rest of them did.

'Oh how beautiful, of course, everyone is always Team fucking Nessie. Even my brother.'

I was angry, I'd had it with her, I wasn't going to put up with it anymore. I moved so I stood beside Seth.

'What's your problem? I don't understand why you hate me so much and I don't understand why you think that even if I was dead Jake would ever pick you. He loves me Leah; he doesn't love you so get over it.'

She bared her teeth at me and edged closer but Seth stood in front of me again, daring her to come closer.

Then Jake came bounding through the woods, looking angrier than I've ever seen him before.

'Move from her, now' Jake ordered and she turned to face him

'Or what' she said bitterly

Everyone gasped, no one had ever refused the alpha before, it just wasn't done. Ever.

He edged closer to her, he didn't look like my Jake he looked scary.

'Pack member or not, my best friends sister or not, if you ever lay so much as a hand on her Leah Clearwater I swear to god I will kill you. This ends right now. I've had it with you, I'm not interested in you, I will never be with you okay? I love Renesmee, get it? Renesmee. Now I said MOVE.'

She had tears in her eyes as she ran back through the woods. I stepped forward as if to follow her but I stumbled back as I realised she'd appreciate absolutely no source of comfort for me. I didn't realise I had tears in my own eyes until Seth pulled me close into a tight embrace.

'It's okay Ness'

Jake looked at each members of the pack, none of them quite sure what to say.

'Sorry you all had to see that. I best get going, come on Ness' he said with no emotion in his voice.

He leaned forward to lightly pull me from Seth and we turned to leave. He helped me in the car and then we were off. The car journey was silent, he didn't say anything and neither did I. When we reached I got out the car myself but I stumbled and fell hard.

Jake was immediately by my side and he lifted me up carefully and that's when the tears came and I started crying.

'Shhhhh' he said carrying me inside and sitting on the sofa with me in his lap.

He rubbed my back soothingly murmuring words of comfort in my ear.

'She hates me, so much' I cried, I wasn't used to people hating me, the worst part was I hadn't done anything to her.

'She doesn't hate you, nobody could hate you, she just hates that she can't be with me'

'She does' I insisted 'I just want to talk to her, try and make things better'

'You're not going anywhere near her, sorry Nessie, she can't be reasoned with.'

I didn't say anything but I was determined to talk to her at some point to try and get through to her.

After a while when I had stopped crying I looked up at him.

'Feeling better?' He asked

'A little.'

I studied his face and decided to just tell him everything that was wrong

'I'm sick of feeling like this. Earlier when I was with you upstairs and when we were watching a movie I actually felt happy. I just want to be happy, I just need to get away from Forks, away from everything and just be with you. I can't take it anymore I just want to smile, and laugh and be happy again.'

'I will do anything for you. I promise we'll go away together, I'll do anything to make you happy again. That's all I want, is to make and to see you happy.' He replied

'When Carlisle gives me the all clear we'll go yeah?'

'And it will have to be when those bruises are gone' he added

'Yes, I can't wear a bikini with those'

'And I'd hate for you to have to cover up' he said stroking my arm and I smiled.

'I love you so much' he said 'I just want to go and scream to the world how much I love you'

I laughed, 'okay but don't do it when you're with me'

He laughed 'I think I will'

'Where are you taking me?' I asked 'I want to go somewhere sunny and hot'

'Wherever you want babe, your wish is my command'

'We could go to California' I suggested I'd always wanted to go there but I couldn't because of my accelerated growth.

'Wherever you want' he said as he leaned in to kiss me. The kiss was slow and deep and passionate and I was completely absorbed in it.

So absorbed I didn't notice my mom, dad and Carlisle walking through the door.

My dad cleared his throat and we immediately broke apart but I still stayed rooted straddling his lap. We both looked up at them. Carlisle pretended not to notice and walked up to his study and Bella smirked and carried on into the kitchen. Edward stayed there and Jake slowly removed his hands from my waist.

'Nice to know you're feeling better Renesmee' he raised his eyebrows. I blushed and scrambled of Jake's lap and smiled at him weakly.

'Hey dad'

'Hello, Carlisle is here to do your checks if you'd like to go on up'

'I can't walk up the stairs' I stated

Just then my mom came zooming back

'Come on my little princess' and she scooped me up before I even had time I blink and I laughed

'Jake will be up momentarily, were just going to have another one of our talks'

I looked over at Jake sympathetically. I knew my dad was about to give him a sex lecture again.

I rolled my eyes at Edward just before my mom carried me up...


	23. Chapter 23 - Rage

**Sorry I was busy but this is another quite long chapter to make up for it**

**ENJOY~**

Jacob

I walked outside beside Edward

'I know it's about me and Ness so please, just spit it out' I told him

We stopped short in front of the cottage and he turned to face me.

'You're a good man Jacob. You look after my daughter well and I honestly wouldn't trust anyone with her but you. I know how much you love and care for her but she's still so young. When she's better and you go on this vacation you've promised her I'm a little worried about what's going to happen once you get there.'

'I love her Edward. I'd never do anything she didn't want to do, you know that' I insisted. Jeez he was so overprotective and he worried way too much.

'Do you think she's ready Jacob, honestly do you?'

He was asking my opinion on whether he thought Nessie was ready for sex? Seriously? Wasn't this supposed to be, erm I dunno kinda private?

'I think Nessie knows exactly what she wants Edward. She wouldn't do something if she didn't think she was ready.'

'That's just it Jake, she thinks she's ready but I don't think she is'

'Edward I'm not going to deny Nessie anything anymore. I mean look where it gets us when I try and say no?'

'Yes. But Jacob you can't just give her everything she wants, that's not how a healthy relationship works'

'A healthy relationship works when you make compromises and you both love each other more than anything. That's all that's to it. I made her a compromise, I asked her to wait until she was at least 17.'

He breathed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose

'I don't want you to have sex with my daughter Jacob'

'Your way too involved in your daughter's life, this is one area you don't need to involve yourself in Edward'

'Nevertheless I am and I don't want you to'

'Edward it's seriously none of your business' I snapped. Stupid controlling nosy bloodsucker.

'It is my business, it's my daughter, and she's not even seven years old'

'Oh well if you're going to count real ages then you're over a hundred and Bella's 24' I snarled sarcastically

'It's different' he insisted

'Why is it different? Because you're Edward? What makes it any different? Physically and mentally Nessie is 17 and physically and probably mentally so am I because I haven't aged a day in 7 years. We're the same age. Nothing is wrong here so why don't you back off, before you make your daughter hate you even more'

'Renesmee does not hate me' he said, his eyes pained, I guess that stung him.

'She hates how you're always controlling her life, she hates how you never let her do anything fun and she's definitely going to hate that you're trying to get involved in her private life. I know she's your daughter and I know you don't want her to grow up but she is whether you like it or not. For seven years I've put up with your controlling ways and all your bullshit Edward. I honestly can't fucking take it anymore' I walked away from him angrily but not back to the house. I couldn't be around him or any of the Cullen's right now. I needed Nessie terribly but right now I had to let off some steam. I was sick and tired of Edward controlling me. If it wasn't for Nessie I'd have probably killed him by now. For seven years he'd used Nessie against me. I don't care what anyone says he isn't good or kind he's evil. It's Bella who's the good one, the kind one, the pure one. That's where Nessie gets her beautiful nature from. The only thing that comes from him in her is that horrible ability not to feel anything and the uncanny resemblance.

I know I shouldn't be thinking these things but as hard as I try I cannot find one good thing about him. He loves to control. I remember when I was younger before Ness was born, he used to hold Bella captive at the Cullen house just so she couldn't come and see me and now he's forbidding me to have sex with the love of my life? I was beyond furious.

I phased almost immediately running through the woods fast. Running did seem to calm me down a little.

When I reached far enough away I stopped and relaxed a little. I flopped down on the ground and tried to calm down. I think a part of me knew Nessie wasn't really ready for sex. She'd been alive for six years and although she was physically old enough I didn't actually think she was mentally old enough. She hadn't seen any of the world, she hadn't talked to other girls her age about these kinds of things. She hadn't experienced anything before and she just wanted to jump right into things. I wanted her to be really truly ready; I wanted it to mean something. My head was going to explode with all of these thoughts. I was confused and I was angry, I didn't know what I was supposed to do, what the _right _thing was to do here. Did I listen to Edward or did I listen to Renesmee or did I do something completely unheard of and listen to myself for once? The problem was that I never did anything I wanted. It was always Nessie's choices but Edward was right, there were two people involved in a relationship and I needed to start making some of my own decisions and do what I wanted to do.

As I was pondering these jumbled up thoughts I heard my phone go off loudly from the sweatpants I had tied round my legs. I quickly phased, and dug out my phone. It was a text from Nessie.

_**'Where are you? You've been gone for ages, I miss you :(**_

_**I'm sorry about dad, just ignore him okay? Come back**_

_**Love you, Nessie x'**_

Had I really been gone that long? I checked my phone and realised I had been gone nearly two hours. When Nessie was still injured.

Why did I always fuck things up? Could I do nothing right?

I quickly phased and ran back to the house, I didn't realise how far I'd actually came in my haste to get away from Edward. I hoped he wasn't there; I had no desire to look at his face for a while. The only reason I was going back was for Nessie. God I couldn't wait until we had our own place together where I wouldn't have to look at Edward fucking Cullen everyday.

When I got there I phased back slowly and as I approached I smelled Edwards scent. Strong. Great he was there.

I breathed deeply before opening the door myself and heading inside.

'Hello Jacob, I assure you've calmed down?' Edward greeted me calmly.

I replied with a snarl. Bella was standing right next to him, her eyes narrowed, cautious.

'Edwards right Jake, you can't listen to Renesmee she's too young' she said calmly.

'I wish everyone would stop telling me what I can and cannot do' I spat before heading upstairs, not saying another word to either of them. They didn't follow me. Good.

I needed space I'd decided, I needed time away. I needed to think about myself for once. I needed to get away from the Cullen's, the nosy, all hearing Cullen's. Especially Bella and Edward but I didn't know how I was going to tell Nessie that.

When I got upstairs I went straight to the medical room but Nessie wasn't in there. I started to panic before I heard her call out 'I'm in my room.'

I headed to Edwards old room which was now Nessie's. She had two rooms, one here, one at the cottage. I preferred the one at the cottage where the rest of the family were not there.

When I went in she was in her bed sat up just as Carlisle was pulling the needle out her arm. She winced and I immediately went to her to comfort her.

'I hate needles' she whispered trying not to cry. I held her hand and wiped the single tear that had fallen away from her eyes.

I loved her so much it hurt.

'Sorry Renesmee' Carlisle said 'but it must be done, you're still very injured' he kissed her on the forehead before turning to leave and closing the door behind him.

'You left me' she said quietly, looking like she was going to cry.

'I'm sorry' I replied. I didn't know what else to say.

I took her hands in mine and looked her in the eye. 'Nessie I need to get away from here for a while' I started and I immediately felt her tense 'I need some...distance from everything, it's just becoming a bit too much'

'Distance from me?' She asked, she was shaking slightly

'No, not you. Never you, just distance from everybody else' I assured her

She closed her eyes and then she nodded. When she finally opened her eyes she looked at me

'When should we go?' She asked

I figured she'd say something like this and I really would love to go somewhere alone with Nessie like we had talked about earlier but with Edward's latest conversation and my inner thoughts I knew what would happen. I'd end up sleeping with her and then I'd probably regret it because she was still so young.

'I don't think that's a good idea Ness' I said slowly, carefully.

She broke contact with my hand and ran her fingers through her hair looking agitated.

'You said earlier we'd go away together, what the hell are you doing to me?' She got up and started pacing around the room raking her hair, breathing heavily

She turned to me and she was shaking furiously

'Are you trying to mess with my head? You say we can go away together, you say we can have sex when I'm better, now you tell me you're leaving and not taking me with you?'

She glared at me now 'how many times have I told you? STOP LISTENING TO EDWARD FUCKING CULLEN' she screeched and then she started throwing things around her room, thrashing and screaming. I immediately tried to grab her to make her stop but she pushed me away furiously.

Edward came bounding up the stairs just as I was getting up, followed by Bella

'Renesmee stop it right now' he said firmly but she just growled at him

'This is your entire fucking fault' I screamed at him 'she's right! You mess with my head all the time and then you make me mess with hers'

'Do not speak to me like that' he yelled but I just ignored him. I don't know what made me do it, I acted on impulse. My eyes frantically searched the room and I saw Nessie's credit card lying on a table.

I picked it up and put it in my pocket and stormed over to the still raging Nessie. For once I was going to take a stand. Renesmee was my imprint. She was mine. And I wasn't going to let Edward or anybody else control me anymore.

I grabbed her quickly, lifting her up and stormed down the stairs.

She was still kicking and screaming but I ignored her, keeping a firm grip on her. I stormed past the angry eyes of the Cullen's and out to where my car was parked.

None of them even said anything or made a move to try and get her. Yes that's right, stay away. She's mine.

'Put down my daughter right now Jacob or I swear to god' Edward Cullen raged following me out to the car

'You'll what?' I mocked

'Let go of me' Nessie screamed still raging

I still ignored her

'You can not take my daughter away from me' he screamed storming towards me.

I hastily put Renesmee into the car and turned to face him

'You heard her Edward, she wants to come with me'

'I DON'T CARE' he screamed

'I don't see her attempting to get out of the car' I said gesturing to where she was sat in the car. She was still and unmoving. Looking straight ahead.

'MOVE' he said pushing me out of the way, he grabbed Nessie out of the car and she screamed.

'LET GO YOUR HURTING ME' she screeched and I immediately grabbed her from Edwards grasp.

'Don't you dare hurt her' I growled at him

'Edward stop it' Bella said running over, the rest of the family now outside enjoying the show

'She's not going away with him' he said, his voice laced with venom

'Oh yes I am, I'm not going to let you tell me what to do anymore, you control freak' and she almost lunged at him, I held her back firmly before she hurt herself.

'Think about this baby, you don't really want to leave us do you? We love you so much, and you're still injured honey' Bella said lovingly

'I don't care, I'll get better.' And then her voice grew softer 'it's not forever mom, I'll be back soon' she promised

'She's not going' Edward insisted to Bella, 'for starters, she's injured and secondly she's six years old and she'll do as I say'

'I AM NOT SIX I AM SEVENTEEN' she screamed 'THE SAME AGE AS YOU'

'DON'T SHOUT AT ME' he shouted back.

If I wasn't so pissed off then I would of laughed. They were so alike it was unbelievable. Renesmee had one of the worst tempers I had ever seen just like Edward.

'Edward maybe we should just let her go' Bella whispered 'she's safe with him'

'Absolutely not' Edward screamed and yanked Nessie away from me

'At least let me speak to him' she said her voice somewhat softer.

Edward seemed reluctant but nodded and walked away to give us some privacy but still carefully watching us.

Before I could speak she backed me away into the entrance leading to the woods and kissed me hard. It was an angry kiss as she placed her hand on my face. I now knew why she was doing this. She wanted to tell me something in secret. We'd figured out if we kissed at the same time as her showing me something with her gift, Edward couldn't hear us properly. It was a secret communication and I loved it. Maybe it was another imprint thing, weird right?

She told me to meet her in this exact same place tonight at midnight and then we'd go away together. She didn't tell me how she was going to sneak out or anything else she just told me to be here.

When she pulled away gasping for air I simply nodded at her.

I kissed her one last time before getting in my car and heading home. Tonight should be eventful...

**A/N I have this story all planned out now, so I now have a clear focus of where it's heading. Things will get heated between the two very soon and there's also going to be more involvement of Seth so it's gonna get pretty interesting.**


	24. Chapter 24 - Did Someone Say California?

RENESMEE

I wasn't going to continue to let my overbearing father control every aspect of my life. I felt suffocated in this small town. I needed to get out, I needed to see the world, I needed to grow up and be _normal._

I stalked back into the house, my family looking at me sympathetically.

'Renesmee' my dad started but I barged past him and stormed up to my room slamming my door. I think I had definitely been putting it on earlier, I found I could walk up the stairs just fine. Oops.

Edward thought he'd won, but he hadn't. I had to be extremely careful not to think of absolutely anything about my escape tonight. It was hard but I was used to having to hide my thoughts around my father. I idly packed a bag trying not to think about it. I just put anything in there, not really caring. I made sure I put Alice's new lingerie in there though, whether or not I'd have the guts to wear them I still included them. I also slipped into the medical room quietly and grabbed a whole box of the pre prepared needles Carlisle had been injecting me with. I knew they were making me better even if I hated them.

My phone buzzed and I reached in my pocket to answer

'_**I have your credit card, don't bother looking for it**_

_**See you soon**_

_**Love you**_

_**Jake xxx'**_

I sighed a breath of relief, I had tried to look for it and was about to become panicky because I definitely needed that if we were going to get by.

It was getting dark now, it was getting late and soon my mother and father would be off to the cottage. I still had an excuse to stay sleeping here because I was ill. If I wasn't, my dad would probably become suspicious.

I sat down on my bed and I suddenly felt ashamed of my behaviour earlier, of the way I had treated Jacob.

I really often did take him for granted, always shouting and screaming at him when I didn't get what I want. I was spoiled rotten and I don't know how I had ever deserved somebody as good as Jake. I vowed that on this trip I would show him how much I truly did appreciate and love him and I wouldn't push him into anything. I would let nature take its course.

I sat there thrumming my fingers against the wood on the end of my bed, growing impatient. It wasn't even 10 o clock yet. When would this day end?

'Renesmee, could you come downstairs please' I heard my father call. He didn't have to shout, I could hear him clearly enough.

I was about to yell no but I thought I'd better just go and act calm so that he wouldn't punish me further by remaining here tonight to spy on me.

I got up and stormed downstairs into the living room. They were sitting there, all of them, focusing on me.

'What are you looking at?' I said bitterly. I couldn't help it, they were seriously getting on my nerves. Emmett just laughed and Rosalie looked like she wanted to laugh aswell.

'Sorry Ness, it's just you've got exactly the same temper as Edward, you're so alike' Emmett said through his laughter.

I scowled, I had no desire to be linked to Edward Cullen tonight, I was angry at him. I hated the fact I had the same temper as him and I hated that I looked like him.

'Take a seat Renesmee, you're not on trial here, we just want you to come and sit with us, your family' my dad said smiling gently.

I narrowed my eyes, what was he up to?

He laughed 'I'm not up to anything, I just missed my daughter' he said and I reluctantly sat down on the single chair so I wouldn't have to sit next to anybody.

'I know you're angry with me right now but I can't let you go running off like that with Jacob. It was different when I said you could go on vacation. A planned vacation, with me and your mother close by.'

I scoffed, so that's why they'd agreed? Because they were going to follow me? Typical Edward and Bella. They really needed to get a life of their own.

My dad raised his eyebrows but I made no attempt to control my thoughts. I didn't care if he heard, it was all true, he needed to get a hobby.

'Maybe you can get a hobby aswell Renesmee, you could go to school when you're fully grown, I think it would do you well' my dad stated

'Yes Edward! I never thought about it, wouldn't that be a good idea Nessie?' my mother gushed, her eyes suddenly all bright with excitement.

'No' I replied coldly and my mother's faced fell a little

'I think it would be excellent idea' Esme chimed

'Well it's a good job nobody asked your opinion' I snapped back and she sighed heavily.

'Don't be so rude Renesmee' my dad scolded me 'we only said we think it would be a good idea'

'Of course you do, I'd be out of your hair for six hours a day and I'd be separated from Jacob, it would be the perfect idea for you' I replied

'How could you think that? I was thinking of _you_ and how much it would benefit you. I love having you around, I'd never try and get rid of you and I have no aversion to you spending time with Jacob, I just have an aversion to you trying to run off with him'

I didn't even bother replying to him. I didn't want to go to college, I was smarter then all of those kids put together anyway. I could speak 5 languages fluently, I could play the piano, I knew the most complicated math like the back of my hand. I didn't want any friends; I had Jacob and the rest of the pack. No I didn't need to go to college. I wanted to travel the world and do extraordinary things like the extraordinary person I was. My dreams were much bigger than _college._

My dad sighed, effectively ending the college discussion and we all watched some dumb film and talked amongst one another, laughing and joking. Well _they _were laughing and joking, I however remained silent in my seat counting down the time until I saw my Jacob again.

At half past eleven I declared myself tired and said goodnight.

'Goodnight Renesmee, I do love you, you know. With all my heart' my dad said kissing me on the forehead and my mom hugged me tightly 'see you tomorrow sweetheart, if you need anything tell somebody to come and get us.' I hugged my mother back, feeling slightly guilty that I was doing this to her. She'd be upset but I'd phone and let her know I was okay and she would forgive me because she loved me more than anything.

They went off to the cottage and I went upstairs to bed, everybody else said goodnight to me.

Carlisle followed me up soon after to run some checks.

'I think you're almost better Renesmee, you've healing extremely fast, today especially, your ribs are still sore but your bruises have nearly all gone, you'll be a hundred percent in a few days, does your head hurt?' he asked

'A little' I admitted. I'd had this nagging pain in my head all day and I knew it was because I was still injured.

He gave me some strong pills for my head out of one of his special cabinets.

'Can I keep those? You know just in case' I asked him as he was about to go back into the medical room and put them away. He seemed a little hesitant but handed them over all the same.

'Goodnight Renesmee, sweet dreams' he said ruffling my hair before closing my door and going downstairs.

I quickly stashed them in my bag and put it over my shoulder ready to go. I quietly put my shoes on and turned off the light in my room.

It was three minutes to 12; I knew Jake would probably already be there.

I knew my family were probably listening to me right now so I had to be extremely quiet. I could not afford for them to hear me. It was a good job I had inherited the vampire quality to be able to move quickly and quietly.

I stretched my bedroom window open wide and pushing myself up, jumped and landed with a soft thud on the grass. I didn't know if they had heard me, I had been pretty quiet but I didn't waste any time in running toward the entrance of the woods.

He was standing there, tall, tanned and muscular with a mischievous grin on his face. I ran right up to him, wincing slightly and he grabbed me and threw me over his back as he ran all the way to his car. He'd had to park it quite a distance away so my family wouldn't be able to hear the engine start.

We got in quickly and he immediately sped off.

I breathed a sigh of relief when we were finally driving.

'I can't believe you managed to sneak out' he said to me, smiling

'I have many qualities' I said winking and he laughed

'I can't believe were doing this' he stated

'I know'

Just then my phone rang and I immediately panicked, I looked at the caller ID and it was Alice. I looked at Jacob, not sure what to do and he nodded at me so I answered it.

'Renesmee, I just saw your future disappear I don't know how but I've gotten better with it lately, I've broken through the blind spots, where are you?'

'I'm with Jake, Aunt Alice please don't tell my dad' I begged

'I had a feeling' she stated 'I'm not going to, but I have about twenty seconds before he barges over here to come looking for you. Don't worry I'm away from the family, they can't hear me. You and Jacob need to throw your phones away so he can't track them okay? Get new ones when you can and make sure you call me and tell me where you are so I know you're safe. Trust me if you weren't with Jacob I wouldn't be doing this.'

'Thank you so much Aunt Alice, you're the best ever I love you so much, I owe you one'

'Love you Ness, and yes you both owe me big time, remember throw your phones away now'

'Okay!'

'Remember to call me' she said and then she was gone.

'Throw your phone out the window Jake' I said and he picked it up and threw it hard out of the window as I did mine.

He put the window back up and I leaned back and started laughing.

'This is so much fun' I stated and he smiled at me adoringly

And it was true; this was the most fun I'd had in ages.

We drove in silence for a while and whilst we were in traffic he turned to me.

'You're still injured Ness, what the hell am I gonna do?' he said looking worried

'I'm fine Jake, I'm healing real quick now, Carlisle said I was practically better and I brought some medicine and the needles from home just in case' I assured him. He looked uncertain.

'Jake we won't be gone for long, stop worrying, don't ruin this, I said I'm okay.'

'I'll look after you' he vowed and I smiled at him.

After about half an hour of driving I forgot that I hadn't even asked him where we were going.

'Jake, where are we going?' I asked

'Well, I think a certain beauty mentioned something about California?'

I grinned hugely, I was so excited.

California with Jake, away from my dad for a while? Perfect…

**Two chapters in one day, you should be grateful.**

**Read, review, favourite, blah…**


	25. VERY IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE

**Hello guys**

**I've been reading this story back and I've came to the conclusion that its pretty much a huge mess.**

**There are so many mistakes and so many things wrong and things that don't match up that I don't even want to continue it.**

**I know I can do so much better but I haven't devoted myself to this story as much as I should have I've been at school and everything and now it's all over the place. I have been co writing this with one of my cousins and to be honest haven't really even bothered checking the chapters she wrote to make sure they were okay. I feel like I abandoned my own story, you know? **

**I'm really not happy with it and I haven't been for a while.**

**The only conclusion is to re write it all again and then post it all together at once in a few months time. **

**Thankyou to my followers and people who have reviewed and I promise a much better version will be up, probably a lot different also (like the thing with Nahuel was a horrible idea and a complete disaster) it will be finished and completed this time within a few months. I'd say were probably looking around the September/October time.**

**If you're really against this idea, let me know, review and PM me and I can see if I can somehow, someway try and redeem it instead of starting again but for now…**

**See you soon**

**-Alice **


	26. authors note

**Okay guys as much as I think this story is messy I've decided I can't be bothered to change of it and I'm just gonna continue it. whatever happens happens. I'll at least do the next chapter.**

**Next chapter should be up soon.**

**ALICE.**


End file.
